Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/September 18

September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God

Infinity B.C.E. - God is born.
4000 B.C.E. - God receives the universe as a birthday present and breaks it six days later.
2500 K.F.C. - Israelites hold a birthday party for God, mistake him for a gold cow.
0 - God has His first child... with hilarious results!
1000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world, but cancels at the last minute.
1609 - Gordon Edgeway and George Bennett are fused together in a nuclear fusion reaction; the resulting matter is named Gordon Bennett.
1759 - Quebec City is stolen by a gang of monkeys. They are later discovered trying to sell it on a market stall in Hamburg and are sentenced to 15 hours of community service.
1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins.
1874 - The Drinking Binge of 1874 begins.
1875 - The Mother of all Headaches begins.
1997 - National referendum in Wales - an overwhelming majority (87.13%) vote yes on a motion to send out for pizza.
1998 - Jenna Jameson beats off stiff competition to take an Oscar for her part in 7-Up.
2000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world from Paris, but cancels at the last minute again. Rioting ensues.
2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha´s bathroom.
2025 - Lost ends, God is pleased.