Sheep Strikes

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!

This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.

In 1988, current overlord of Britain, Tony Blair, stated that sheep would have to work for almost half as much as they currently earned.

Shocked and appalled, the sheep decided that enough was enough, that sheepkind had been trodden on one too many times. Thus, the Sheep Strikes were born.

The Sheeps Union protests against Blair's proposed wage cuts

From 1988 til 1995, sheep refused to be sheared and have their wool taken for use in everyday items such as mittens, kittens and the OMSBROM toaster rack. The Sheeps Union and the government finally made a breakthrough in the summer of 1995, when they agreed that Murder, She Wrote was indeed the worst television show ever devised, but just 3 days afterwards the strikes were back on, and have continued until this day.

Before his retirement, Mr. Blair guaranteed that wool substitutes would be used to maintain the current flow of wool in and around Britain. However, this has lead to hair smuggling and organised crime - both cunning policies adopted by Blair to detract from the wool shortage.

Since Tony Blair resigned, the sheep resumed their old strategy and continued to abhor the nation's need for wool. Gordon Brown recently decided to act upon their threat, which he did so with absolute ease, by invading Iraq to steal their sheep instead. He could then force them to work for 2p a day, 24/7, thus reducing wool costs largely. However, this action has created many homeless and jobless sheep, who now spend their time standing around outside job centers, complaining about polish sheep that are "stealing" all their jobs and completely ignoring the obvious fact that there are many jobs where they can earn at least 70p an hour doing some hard labor by getting rounded up by furry black and white four legged animals known as dogs in which these polish sheep excel at, and are willing to do a hard days work for the right amount of money. However, English sheep still refuse this, claiming that it's "actual work" to which many people respond, "get off your buttocks and do something, you lazy son-of-a-ram".