Sheik

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Typical homosexual imitating Sheik

“That freaking harp turns me on!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sheik

“...”

~ Link on Sheik

“Sheik made me gay.”

~ Saria on Sheik

Sheik is a persona from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time created by the whore, Zelda, inorder to elude the evil Ganondorf and aid the hero, Link. This of course lead to Link becoming greatly confused about his own sexuality. Sheik is often seen as one of the original girly men. Who is actually female, with boobs and vaginas and everything.

[edit] Background

Back in the 90s, some crazy Japanese guy decided to make a 3rd person platform game called The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. While the game's playable character was Link, most people only advanced the story because they wanted to see a suited, Ninja-like chick with a harp who could obviously kill everything, but mainly elected to make her appearance when you defeated all the regional enemies. Despite the fact that you played the game as a mute, who's tongue was removed at birth when his drunk mother missed the ambilicle cord, the real heroine was Sheik.

[edit] Relations

Link initially was gay for Sheik but consequently learned her identity as Princess "Whiney Bitch" Zelda. Sheik consequently had to use the Master Dildo's mystic power of memory loss; which explains why Link's floating Lightbulb (Navi) is constantly remiding him of seemingly obvious information. Sheik is an attempted Ninja who was forced to go to Dr. Mario for plastic surgery where her real breasts were removed and machine-operated inflatable balloons were implanted. This explains why Sheik's chest seems so flat, while Zelda's is BA-BOING!!! Sheiks true skills lie in playing a hypnotic harp, whipping an annoying piece of barb-wire (can be seen in Super Smash Bros: Assault and Battery), and impersonating male characters in videogames everywhere: Raiden, explaining his obvious female demeanor, Bowser (who was a flamming faggot without Sheik's self appointed role in the game), Tidus, and Tifa (Sheik later discovered Tifa was a female role and played it well by over inflating her massive polygon breasts). Sheik eventually found peace in life when Ganondorf died and returned to calling herself Zelda, entirely dedicated to hiding the identity of Sheik from Link, and making the only playable character of the game, Link, straight. Unfortunately, Link screwed up even more by becoming engaged to a fish. After whoring himself for hustler magazines, Link eventually got his memories and found out out that Sheik is actually "slutto motherfucker" Zelda because he's a one those porno-maniac and reads hustler,playboy ect, then sheik in one of those magazines.Link then became known as "Anti-Zelda Serial Killer.To make a short story short, he killed him/her.

[edit] Sheik today

Sheik can be seen making numerous appearances today, most notably in Super Smash Brothers: Assault and Battery. It is unknown wether or not Sheik will be included in the upcoming Super Smash Brothers: Furious Furry Gangbang, slated to be released in 2007 on the Nintendo Wii. Sheik can also be spotted in your poop, but look very carefully.

[edit] See Also

• The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
• Homosexuals
• Transexuals
• Raiden

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