Shithouse

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
Why not come and sit a while?
Why not come and sit a while?

A shithouse, also known as "shite-house", despite its name, is not a residence built of feces. Rather, it is a shed that, equipped with a toilet (and, rarely, with a urinal and a sink), allows visitors to escape work, have sex, or masturbate in private, under the guise of relieving themselves through the performance of such bodily functions as number one and number two. For no good reason, shithouses are also sometimes called outhouses or privies.

[edit] Digressions (such as are unseen in Wikipedia)

Jim Morrison, of the Doors, also used the term "shithouse" as a metaphor for the universe, saying, at one of his concerts, that he intended to get his "kicks before the whole shithouse burns down." As it turned out, Morrison burned out before the "shithouse" burned down and, as punishment for his hubris, was buried in France, where he still resides.

The shithouse is also used as a metaphor for feminine pulchritude, as in the expression, "She's built like a brick shithouse," despite the fact that no shithouse is made of such material.

[edit] Construction

Better-made shithouses boast porcelain, rather than wooden, toilets and, therefore, leave no splinters in one's derriere as mementoes of their visits. In addition, they may have chipboard walls and a fiberglass ceiling. However, even these luxurious shithouses lack insulation and, in cold climes, can be unsettlingly frigid in the winter.

As a rule, shithouses do not have ventilation systems or windows, and they can become foul-smelling when visitors actually use them for their intended purpose rather than as a private place in which to meditate or to masturbate.

Shoddy shithouses are often homes to snakes, rats, Bill Clinton's prostitutes and paramours, or other vermin, and may offer telephone books or mail order catalogues in lieu of Charmin or other brands of ass wipe.

[edit] Other Uses

Larry Flint claims to have lost his virginity to his mother in his boyhood home's outhouse.

Before it became used exclusively--or primarily--as a shitter, the outhouse was employed for food storage, animal housing, cooking, and (in place of the woodshed, for administering corporal punishment to lazy or reluctant wives and children, especially on farms).

Personal tools
projects