Sidmouth
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Sidmouth is a city situated in the South West of England, on the Devonshire coastline. It has a rich and varied history although is now largely know for old people and donkeys. Donkeys are generally perceived as the perfect animal, and nowhere more so than Sidmouth where Donkey's and man can live in wonderful harmony. Sidmouth is also interestingly nicknamed the nipple of Devon due to its production of unusually creamy donkey milk.
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[edit] History
Sidmouth was created by the Earl of Sidmouth in 1814 when he reached the age of 62 and decided he would like to retire somewhere close to the sea where they sold ice cream. Unfortunately, the land he chose for the establishment of his new city was neither by the coast nor did it produce or sell ice related snacks. The Earl of Sidmouth therefore decided to invest a considerable proportion of his great wealth into fashioning a new utopia he would later christen "Sidmouth".
[edit] Changing the Coastline
Old maps of Sidmouth clearly show it was approximately 2 miles from the coast, yet by 1817 nearly 30,000 tonnes of rocks, earth and sandstone had been moved to create what Bruce Forsyth declared in 1995 to be the "finest beach in the entire world". Over 4,000 donkeys carried out the majority of the work, working tirelessly day and night to ferry away the vast amount of debris. Originally, slaves were going to be used to complete the mammoth task, however, donkeys were deemed to be far more lovable and so thousands had to be imported from Spain.
[edit] Building the city
The Earl of Sidmouth now declared the land prepared to be "proper good" so building of 'Sidmouth' could begin. The first thing to be built was a gigantic skate park as rollerskating had become fashionable, the Earl had first seen rollerskating on his travels in Africa and decided to construct a skate park to rival all others in the world. This was followed by the construction of Jacob's Ladder, an impressive feat of engineering prowess which made other contemporary engineers work look comparatively unsubstantial. Isambard Kingdom Brunel argued in 1835 that the ladder was "finest thing man has ever created" and it was one of the Seven Wonders of the World until 1953 when it was replaced with the Berlin Wall thanks largely to the campaigning work of noted time traveller and all-round hero Woody Harrelson. Other public buildings constructed during the 1820's included a pornographic cinema named the Radway (notable today due to still reshowing timeless 1920's films), Woolworth's and a classy drinking establishment known as Carina's.
[edit] Growth of Sidmouth
During the 1830's Sidmouth experienced rapid growth as people flocked from the surrounding countryside to this now prosperous haven. It's population had reached 1.3 million by 1839 making it the largest city in the world. Due to the fact that Donkeys reproduce very quickly, the Donkey population had also risen from the original 4,000 to over 3 million. The was ideal for the new population as they largely became involved in Sidmouth's fastest growing industry, Donkey milking. Donkey milk had been found to cure all disease's including Cancer (which was yet to be discovered), as such demand for Donkey milk was huge and Sidmouth had a nationwide monopoly. The Earl of Sidmouth had also established a factory producing Donkey ice cream, which proved to be delicious, low in fat and highly addictive.
[edit] Modern Day Sidmouth
Sidmouth is nowadays a thriving metropolis with a young population and lively nightlife.
[edit] Shopping
Shoppers will be delighted by Sidmouths huge array of shops, for most casual shoppers Woolworth's should suffice with a good collection of overpriced CD's, DVD's and Magazines. However, if its plentifully stocked shelves don't have what you need then you're screwed because Sidmouth has no other shops.
