Sigma
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Sigma is the code-word for the famous mathematical crime-fighting duo, Papa Sigma (∑) and Baby Sigma (δ). Sigma was invented by Greek mathematicians and is cool enough to take cases both from world-renowned chemists and brainy kids with Asperger's syndrome. Sigma has been aided by numerous, often transcendental entities over the years, including pi.
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[edit] History
[edit] Origin
The Greeks, unsatisfied with their mathematical backwardness compared to civilizations such as the Goths, the Vikings, and the Incas, decided to create Sigma to destroy opposing mathematical systems. Sigma was so successful, that it wiped out all rival mathematics from history, resulting in Greek dominance over math. However, soon after this, the team became rather tame and nonviolent, and lent its services to mathematicians of all cultures. It has been reported that Sigma was seen with Emos, thus accounting for their sudden and unfortunate pussification. Soon after this, Greece slipped into anarchy and darkness. It hasn't been the same ever since.
[edit] What Happened to Mama Sigma?
No one knows, though there are many rumors. Some rather unoriginal ones are
- that Chuck Norris killed her with a protractor
- that Mister T killed her with a protractor
- that Emo Hitler convinced her to commit suicide
- that Spock, a transexual elven hotdog vendor from Turkey, convinced her that her existance simply wasn't logical as an April Fools Day joke.
A much more likely explanation, however, is that Mama Sigma never existed in the first place, thus leading to the conclusion that the Greeks created Baby Sigma in vitro. If this were ever proven, it would be the greatest mathematical scandal that no one ever heard about in history.
[edit] Civil War
It is well known that Papa and Baby Sigma have had numerous conflicts with each other throughout the two's history. This is probably due to the absence of Mama Sigma, and the fact that there was no one to perform such difficult tasks as cleaning, dusting, or rearranging furniture. The final separation occurred over a dispute about who should do the dishes. Since then, Papa and Baby Sigma have had different functions and have fought math crime in different ways. However, they reconciled during the Renaissance and now fight such monsters as string theory and eigenvalues.
[edit] Super-Powers
[edit] Papa Sigma
Papa Sigma originally had a number of sick super-powers, and could fire lasers, homing missiles, and shoot anti-matter. However, after it softened up, it lost all its powers and nowadays is only known as a summation operator. However, Papa Sigma has still been known to cause suicide in maths students worldwide.
[edit] Baby Sigma
Baby Sigma is virtually unknown and unrespected in mathematics. Its only function is as a sidekick to Papa Sigma, and it has no super-powers whatsoever.
[edit] Arch-Enemies
Sigma has battled many foes over the years, including:
- The Euler number
- Nullity
- Division by Zero
- NaN
- Redundancy
- Bad drawings of the fat math teacher
- Pi (in the great betrayal of math known as calculus)
- X
[edit] Sigma in Popular Culture
Sigma has appeared numerous times in popular culture; for example, witness the use of Sigma by the following bands:
“Take the sigma between us, fill it up some way.”
~ The Police on Sigma
“Sigma sigma, I've got a sigma.”
~ Styx on Having a sigma
“And she's buying a sigma to heaven.”
~ Led Zeppelin on Sigmas to Heaven
Sigma has also made multiple appearances by himself as himself, often to strike fear into the hearts of unsuspecting math students, for example:
“Tremble in terror, you are finished!”
~ Sigma
[edit] The Sigma Protocol
Sigma also appears in Robert Ludlum's book The Sigma Protocol where sigma goes 3-D and fights ninjas, robots, and parakeets in order to destroy a world-wide conspiracy.
