Sirronic Empire
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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| Motto: (Latin) : Caveo norris vir (Translated: "Beware the Norris-man") | |||||
| Anthem: "Theme Song From "Delta Force" | |||||
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| Capital | Akicktotheface, Italy | ||||
| Largest city | Chuck Norris' Beard | ||||
| Official Language(s) | Pain and Anguish | ||||
| Government Emperor | Empire Chuck Norris | ||||
| Independence • Declared: • Recognized: | From Oscar Wilde March 26, 1735 BC 5 minutes later | ||||
| Currency | The Roundhouse Kick to the Face ( Җ ) (RKF) | ||||
| Religion | Chuck Norris does not believe in religion. Religions believe in Chuck Norris | ||||
| Internet TLD | .nrs .rkf .chk | ||||
| National Holiday | Whenever Chuck Norris damn well feels like it | ||||
“At first, I didn't want to give him my land. Then Chuck 'persuaded' me to. And by persuade, I mean he gave me a swift roundhouse kick to the face.”
~ Napoleon Bonaparte on The Sirronic Empire
The Sirronic Empire, also known as the Imperium Sirronicum, is an empire comprised of territories on the continents of what the uneducated call Europe, Asia, and Africa. In actuality, however, these continents (as well as everything else on the Earth) are all part of Sirron, Chuck Norris' Uber-Continent.
[edit] History
The Sirronic Empire was founded in 1735 BC, after Chuck Norris decided he needed someplace to store his large collection of stuffed "People who pissed off Chuck Norris" and all his pr0n. Owning no land himself at the time, Chuck Norris was aware that his arch-nemesis Oscar Wilde had recently acquired a large amount of real estate as a result of his winning a yahtzee tournament. Deciding he was "fed up with Wilde's crap," Norris paid Oscar a visit and gave him an offer that he couldn't refuse: Chuck Norris' trademark roundhouse kicks to the face. That kick to the face was henceforth known as the Treaty of Ghent, and signified the founding of the Sirronic Empire.
For his first act as Emperor, Chuck Norris established a set of laws designed to prevent both anarchy and cabbage uprisings under his rule. This set of 15 laws was known as the "Doctrine of Guidelines You Should Abide By In Order to Lessen the Possibility of Being Roundhouse Kick'd In the Face". More commonly, the laws were referred to as the Book of Norris. Next, Norris created a defense system for his new empire comprising solely of Law and Order--his left and right legs, respectively.
Shortly after taking power, he renamed the Italian Peninsula "My Foot" and changed Sicily's name to "Your Face".
[edit] Nationalism
Some people, as a result of being yellow-bellied, choose to make it absolutely clear whose side they are on, and name themselves "Sirron" as a mark of respect for the Empire, and more importantly, its magnificent leader. Some made the grave mistake of naming their children after their leader, but of course this is an insult to Chuck Norris, who cannot be associated with mortals. One child survived merely because his father (Pavarotti) had made a mess of his Birth Certificate. It seemed to read "Colin Ray Norris" as opposed to "Carlos Ray Norris", but in the greatest act of sucking up in the history of the world, he changed it to Sirron anyway, and went on to add "TheMighty" to his name. SirronTheMighty has since been described as "the guy Mr T. is talking about when he says foo'".
