Sisters of Mercy
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“Sisters of Mercy? Sisters of bad taste and music.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sisters Of Mercy
The Sisters Of Mercy were formed in 1981 when Duran Duran guitarist Andrew Taylor grew bored of standing around looking like a girl in expensive promo videos and decided instead to study Manderin oranges at Leeds university. Changing his name to Yvonne Eldritch he teamed up with guitarist Harpo Marx, bass guitarist and author Douglas Adams, Pirate castaway from Treasure island Benn Gunn and a Doctor playing drum machines.The band named themselves after an obscure song by Leonard Rossiter. Together they embarked on an unremarkable early career.
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[edit] History
[edit] The early days
It wasn't until Yvonne suffered a DIY accident with a Black and Dekker workmate leading to the removal of his vocal chords which caused Yvonne to "sing" in a series of sinister burps, did The Sisters career take off. Realising that having a guitarist marooned thousands of miles away on a desert island wasn't such a good idea after all, they employed ex Dead or Alive banjo-ist and Pete Burn's lipstick technician, Wayne Kerr. With this classic line up they recorded their first album. Which was nice. Then they had a fight and split up.
[edit] The not so early days
Harpo Marx built himself a magic time machine and transported himself back to the 1930's to team up with his grandfather Groucho, together with his great uncles Karl and Chico they formed The Marx Brothers(and Grandson).
Meanwhile Wayne Kerr and Douglas Adams formed a band calling themselves The Mercyhood. This made Yvonne really cross and he formed a band called The Mercyhood as well and quickly put a record out. Kerr and Adams paid Yvonne lots of money and changed their name to something else and put an album out called "The Hitchhikers guide to Led Zeppelin".
Yvonne decided to call himself The Sisters of Mercy again and together with a mate of that fat bastard Meatloaf, a choir and a bird with big tits made another nice record.
Yvonne then sulked for a couple of years before he turned into Bon Jovi.
[edit] The not so early as the not so early days days
Most people stopped caring, so Yvonne went to Germany, married a princess and lived happily ever after. Apart from when he gets a tax bill and has to drag himself off to do a tour every few years. It is important to realise The Sisters of Mercy were not, and never will be, a goth band. They may well have looked, sounded and smelled like goths, but they weren't and that's that.
[edit] Discography
- 1981-84 - Some singles no-one, apart from some rather depressed art students in Leeds, bought.
- 1985 - "First and Last and All That" album. And some jolly good singles.
- 1986 - "That Wayne, he's a right git" album
- 1987 - "Foodland" album. And some really over the top - but in a good way - singles.
- 1990 - "Slippery When Wet Thing" album. And some crap singles.
- 1992 - "All the singles no-one bought but pretends they did now they're famous" compilation album. And a single that was really rotten version of one of their best tracks featuring an Arab woman screeching *Snigger*.
- 1993 - single with that bird that used to sing "take my breath away" from that gay film "Top Bum"
- 1994 - "All the crap later stuff everyone bought but wishes they hadn't cus the early stuff is much better" compilation album.
