Six Flags
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| |||||
| Motto: "It's Wartime!" | |||||
| Anthem: "We Like To Party" | |||||
| |||||
| Capital | New Orleans | ||||
| Largest city | Great Adventure | ||||
| Official languages | Depends | ||||
| Government | Anarchy | ||||
| -President | Mr. SixSixSix | ||||
| -Manager of Foreign Affairs | Bugs Bunny | ||||
| -Manager of Peace | Batman | ||||
| -Head of Transportation | Thomas the Tank Engine | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Superman, Batman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Justice League | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | The first state, Texas, declared independence from Disneyland in 1961. | ||||
| Currency | You mean you have money after forking $15 over for parking? | ||||
| Religion | Paying $20 for a slice of pizza and Waiting in line for 2 hours for a 30 second ride | ||||
| Major exports | Summer jobs, cheaply made souvenirs, National Six Flag Flags, expensive food | ||||
| Major imports | Money, Lost Children | ||||
| Opening hours | Closed in the winter | ||||
Six Flags is a union of states and is the largest nation of this kind. It is named for the six states that were part of the original union. It now includes states in Europe, Mexico, Mid America, New Orleans, California, and Egypt. It has constantly been at war with Disneyland since declaring independence.
Contents |
[edit] History
It first declared independence from Disneyland in 1961 with the Texas Revolution. Over the years, the nation has thrived and aggressive military tactics have been used to take over other smaller countries. Under the united government, the member states thrived, adding new attractions year after year. Six Flags remains at war with Disneyland, Cedar Point, and Universal Nations. Six Flags' government has also been through several generations of power, including the Time Warner Party and the Premier Party. Each new party brought new changes to the empire, including corporate sponsorships, attractions, and changes in political procedures.
[edit] The Shapiro Revolution
In 2005, Mr. Six was coming of age and was having difficulty running his empire. In addition, the economy was in poor shape and the government was rapidly losing money. Later that year, his regime was overthrown and Mark Shapiro seized power. The revolution brought about huge changes within the empire, including the raising of taxes and increased focus on public works programs. Thomas the Tank Engine was sworn in as the head of transportation and has started construction on several rail lines within each of the states.
[edit] Six Flags Today
The national debt of Six Flags has increased significantly in recent years, resulting in significantly higher tax rates, leading to several states seceding from the union, including Astroworld, Holland, and Belgium. Six Flags New Orleans has supposedly withdrawn from the union as well, but the government of Six Flags has not confirmed this. Many visitors have complained about the high tariffs when attempting to enter any of the member states, even with a passport. Darien Lake and Elitch Gardens also declared independence in late 2007 and withdrew from the union.
[edit] Getting Around
Some Six Flags states have public transportation. One of the most common forms of transportation is by train though they are not much faster than walking from one place to another. Another form of transportation is via buckets on a string. Unlike a similar system at Disneyland however, terrorists have not been able to shut them down (this is likely due to that they tend to be broken down anyway). Wait times for transportation can get long, but the nation offers the 'FlashPass' to make getting around easier.
The California state also has several forms of transportation of its own. One is the monorail, though it hasn't operated in years, and another is a tram system that climbs the mountainside. Like similar systems, the system is notable for injuring riders. This however is no concern because the park has a first aid station that only charges $500 to help you out. So really all is well.
[edit] Parking Lot Trams
The Parking Lot Tram is a form of transportation that serves all the states. Some, however, classify it as more of a thrill ride than a transportation system.
[edit] Military
The military of Six Flags was headed by a old man who dances around in a tuxedo. This dancing has been said to hypnotize enemy forces and encourage them to join them. In addition, the military includes many of the country's national heroes, such as Superman, Batman, Bugs Bunny, and Flash. They are commonly referred to as "Locker Nazis" in the Georgian property. Recently Six Flags has declared war on PETA, since PETA accused them of cruelty to cockroaches, as they promised guests a flash pass in return for eating all the cockroaches found in their food vendors.
[edit] Founding States
- Texas
- Georgia
- New Orleans
- California
- Mexico
- Great America
[edit] Other states
[edit] Attractions
Six Flags is known for its roller coasters, but there are many other tourist attractions among the union
- Magic Mountain
- The swarm of inverted evil known as Batman - The Ride
- Lots of parking lots
- Lots of parking lot coasters.
- Not a lot of parking lot trams.
- Lots of parking lot pathways.
- Lots of parking lot maintenance areas.
-
Darien Lake -
Elitch Gardens - The pizza stand at Great Adventure
- The Pink Stuff stand at Over Texas outside of the Shockwave entrance.
- Shockwave riders throwing up the Pink Stuff after riding Shockwave.
- Broken down coasters for over seven months all over one simple gearbox.
- Deja Vu, better known as the World's Largest Lawn Ornament *also known as Georgia's largest test dummy dispatcher*
- 39 Flavors of Dip-n-Dots, not all real ice cream - note the amount of small birds in these nations
