Ska

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Ska is a style of music from Sittard. Viking settlers in Sittard found the place so boring, they resorted to using drugs, sex and ska. It shares roots with reggae, and actually preceded it (ska aficionados are required by law to point this out pedantically at least once during any discussion of the genre). Its popularity in Sittard meant that people from various parts of the world started listening to ska. For a while, Armenia had the busiest ska scene, but after its decline, Jamaica became the main producer of ska music. This led to periods of popularity in Britain and the United States - like all other forms of good music, it was invented by black people and has been expropriated by white people.

1 Origins
2 Style
3 Periods of Popularity
4 Rivalry with Emos
5 Ska Bands
6 See Also

[edit] Origins

Ska was invented two weeks ago by Gwen Stefani. A British loser named Terry Hall loved the music and since he never accomplished anything else in his life, he decided he wanted credit for creating it; Terry wanted to be remembered after he died and he thought being known as the creator of ska was the only way to secure his place in history. So he dedicated years of scientific research to inventing a time machine in secret. He planned to use his invention to travel back to the late seventies and start playing ska. The plan was successful and he became rich and famous as the lead singer of The Specials. However, one day his butler Prince Buster found the time machine while cleaning out the closet. Buster hated Terry Hall because he was a rich dick and decided to hurt Terry by traveling back to the 1960s to take credit for creating ska. Buster's plan was also successful, and this means that there is no such thing as ska. Why do you ask? Because all ska fans know that ska has to be first wave to be real ska. Prince Buster didn't really create ska because he'd stolen it from Terry Hall; Terry Hall didn't really invent ska because he had stolen it from Gwen Stafani; and Gwen Stafani didn't really invent ska because she had now stolen it from Terry Hall and Prince Buster.

[edit] Style

"Ska" refers to a wide range of music, from "music that emphasises the off-beat and has horns" to "music that emphasises the off-beat and doesn't have horns." Unaccustomed listeners often point out that "all this music sounds the same!" Ska fans are legally obligated to refute this observation by pointing out that sometimes there are flugelhorns used instead of trumpets.

[edit] Periods of Popularity

After the ska scenes in Sittard and Armenia slowed down a bit, Jamaica gained independence in the 1960's, and quickly organized its band name contest (see 'Origins' section) to draw immigrants. The contest started out as a success, but then the island discovered marijuana. This resulted in the formation of the aforementioned reggae.

British dance music adopted ska elements in the '60's and '70's. This quickly became a hit with "skinhead" movement, making ska the anthem of neo-nazi rallies all over the nation.

U.S. punk music went on a ska binge in the 1990's. These bands often had upwards of 53 horn players, and every type of band was clamoring for more. A treaty was signed in November, 1997, stating that no ska song would be played on the radio again.

[edit] Rivalry with Emos

A 2007 University study showed that ska music is "way better" than emo music, being the polar opposite of emo. Although the student researchers were glad to have confirmed a widely held belief, their research director suggested that in the future they should conduct less obvious studies, such as "What IS worse than emo?" Many poplular emo bands planned to take action and creat beter music but insted found themselves cutting themselves and crying instead.