Skaters

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“Yes... I know, I know. I created a monster”

~ Tony Hawk on the creation of Skaters

The religion of Skateboarding was created in 1545 A.D. by Lord Tonius Hawkus. One day Lord Tonius Hawkus was sitting around in his house doing nothing until he came up with the wonderful idea the he was a hawk and then thought of attaching little wheels on to a piece of wood and skating around on it (because he was a hawk). Lord Hawkus thought that this was a really fun thing to do, so he decided to make it into a major religion. The followers of the religion called themselves "Skaters". These Skaters all lived in harmony until World War II, when Winston Churchill ordered all of the skateboards in the world to be burned due to the fact that he thought the skateboards were some type of German weapon of mass destruction. Once all of the skateboards were burned, all of the Skaters went crazy and became cannibals. However, five years later Lord Hawkus was able to create more skateboards and the Skaters were happy again and continued to practice their religion.

[edit] Where can you find a Skater?

You can find a Skater at your school, in your town, in your country, in your car, in your pool, in your iPod, in your bed, and even at the Mall. However, the most common place to find a Skater is at the sewers. The sewers is the place where Skaters go to practice their religion and whorship their god, Lord Tony Hawk. You can also sometimes spot a Skater at your local supermarket getting high off of Jenkem. When you do see a Skater, do not stare, or the Skater will show you his or her Dick, but if you can handle seeing it, then you are okay, because skaters can't fight, even if they use their skateboards as a weapon. All they do is talk shit about how they'll kick your ass and how tough they are, but in reality, they can't fight with their scrawny little arms.

[edit] Skater style

The skater style is so similar to the infamous Emo-style that we can talk about a variation of the emo style. However there are some differences after all. Let's take a look at their style:

The most important thing: The cap! They always wear some stupid cap for no reason at all, even while they take a shower and even when they are asleep. These caps are mostly made by skater brands like "Element", "Etnies", "Killer Loop", "DC", "es"
They always wear some very wide, ugly-looking, rugged shoes.
They always talk about how "extreeeeme hardcore cool" it was yesterday when he broke his nose and lost a few teeth.
The average male skater is about 1.70 meters tall (5.5 foot) and about 56 kilo heavy (124 lbs if you count the weight of their shoes)
The average female skater is about 1.68 meters tall (5.4 foot) and about 120 kilo heavy (265 lbs if you don't count the weight of their crazy long hair)
The three most used words by skaters are: "ouch", "skeet", "SK8", while the three most unpopular words are: "intelligence", "behaviour" and "money".
They always talk about how tough they are and how they will kick your ass, even though they can't fight, they fight worse than the average white boy, even though most of them are white themselves.
Black people who skate cannot fight also, only talk shit, and are a disgrace to their race.