Skinheads

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What was that motherfucker? Did you just call me a MOTHAFUCKING nigga? I'M GONNA POP A CAP IN YO MOTHAFUCKIN BALD ASS, CAUSE LORD IS MY SHEPARD, AND I'M THE MEANEST MOTHAFUCKER IN THE VALLEY!

~ Samuel L. Jackson on skinheads
A typical Skinhead
A typical Skinhead

Contents

[edit] Skinheads

Movie Poster of Skinheads the movie film.
Movie Poster of Skinheads the movie film.
Skinheads are a species that are often mistaken for Homo Sapiens actually they are a more evolved race and hate to be called Homo Sapiens, because they are Übermenschen......SIEG HEIL!
Pierluigi Collina
Pierluigi Collina

Skinheads are actually quite similar to humans but there are some major differences.

  • The Head of a Skinhead is entirely made out of skin, as are the eyes, the hair, the bones and even the inside of their heads.
  • The typical Skinhead weighs 814 kilograms and is about 1.5m tall.
  • Skinheads only feed from boogers and beer.
  • Skinheads have combat boots melded to their feet. This symbiosis normally takes place within the first 2 months of a skinhead´s life.
  • About 70% of the Skinhead body is made out of sugar, preventing them from showering regularly, and generally making them fearful of even coming in touch with water.
  • Skinheads do have a very resistant vocal cords, in fact they are indestructible. This allows the skinhead to scream "Oi! Oi! Oi!" 24/7.

[edit] The Reason Why Skinheads are Hairless

Because of a mutation that took place in the path of devolution, the Skinheads hair started to grow inwards into their skull cavities and down the inside of their throats. This is also the reason why their vocal cords became so strong.

Captain Picard can actually produce words!
Captain Picard can actually produce words!

Skinheads are an offshoot genre of punk. Some skinheads are racist, some communist, some boring. Skinheads are all about power - tell one he's weak, and he'll probably cry before knocking you out. If you see a skinhead with an oddly-shaped jacket, he's probably concealing a weapon, so do not confront him or look him in the eye. In fact, if you see a skinhead do not confront him or look him in the eye. Female skinheads are even scarier than male ones.

If you live in Russia, you may see special skinhead panic buttons installed on every street corner. These are for skinheads to call for police assistance if they are being attacked.

[edit] Famous Skinheads

One of the most famous skinheads is soccer referee Pierluigi Collina. Though some claim he is in fact a Nosferatu, the Skinheads still see a Skinhead-Hero in him.

Another famous Skinhead is Jean-Luc Le Mer Doulalouis de Ivoire Picard: He is one of the few Skinheads able to speak normally, thus is often mistaken for being human. Skinhead expert Andrew Hurley represents a minority group of humans who have tried to become assimilated into skinhead culture. He and his followers shaved their heads and attempted to blend into a skinhead civilization, but were subsequently shanked to death because of hair regrowth and lack of access to a shaver.

[edit] See also

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