Defamation
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Defamation is an evil, malicious comment that in some way, shape or form, criticises you, and is therefore false. Fortunately, you can simultaneously remedy your horrendous, humiliating, debilitating suffering, along with your financial situation, provided you have enough wealth to engage in an all-important, dignifying, justice-seeking lawsuit.
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[edit] The purpose of defamation law
Defamation lawsuits are not vindictive, not at all. The purpose of financially crushing an adversary is to protect you!!! Research has established that people who lose their life savings and consequently succomb to depression are deterred from publicly criticising you. In fact, 100% of people who commit suicide after being sued are successfully deterred from making further critical statements. And think how you will feel when you see their faces, knowing that you avoided any pansy-weakling option such as communication-oriented dispute resolution, and instead sued for justice - yes, you will feel at peace. At least you will feel that way.
Defamation law serves to protect the second most important part of yourself - reputation!!! That is why settlements for slander and libel are rivalled only by those for loss of limbs, divorce, and stubbing your left pinky toe on a clearly misplaced WAL-MART sign. The life-ruining amounts of money you can extract from defendants are the result of deep concern of the legal establishment. Lawyers know how important reputations are; and they feel so strongly about their own public images - it's not just ego, you know - that they have ensured their system puts reputation on a par with childhood innocence, freedom from oppression, and all basic human rights except perhaps speech.
And it's highly democratic! The PEOPLE vote for politicians who do EXACTLY what judges and lawyers want. What is democratic, after all, has little to do with demographics.
[edit] $$$$$$$
When you sue for defamation, the noblest of all lawsuits, you first hire a lawyer. The lawyer is entirely on your side: both of you have only one thing in mind - truth, ju$tice, and the Roman way. It's a little like the lottery: the more you pay, the better your chances of winning. Why pay $150 an hour for average arguments when you can get much more compelling arguments for $400? It's simple math: if you pay $400 and your adversary $150, you have a better chance of winning, and then your opponent will have to pay your legal fees to boot. The system was set up that way. It's based on time-honoured legal traditions and human rights concepts going back to the 12th century.
[edit] Loving your enemy
It is important to keep your emotions in check before you sue someone. Are you irate enough? Do you really have adequate self-righteous indignation inside you to do what it takes to fight for your interests? Remember that you are teaching your adversary an important lesson, and to do so is an act of love. You can love your enemy enough to settle out of court, too. If they are willing to say what you want them to, to sign what you want, so that the public record is set to your liking, then you will feel much better.
The most important thing is to be true to yourself. Rather than looking inward, (which would be too painful), you can become a better person by changing those around you. Only then, when you have taken your God-given, legally-binding action, will your soul be at peace.
