Slappy's Angels
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
This article is about the 2007 film. For the TV series, see Slappy's Angels.
| Slappy's Angels | |
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| Taglines: |
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| Writer | Skippy Squirrel |
| Starring |
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| Producers | Oscar Wilde, William Shakespeare, Skippy Squirrel |
| Director | Skippy Squirrel |
| Runtime | Ninety (90) minutes |
| Language | English |
| Distributed by | Fox Bros. Network |
| IMDb rating | 
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Slappy's Angels is a 2007 movie based on the Uncyclopedia Scandals concerning the supposed deaths of Lola Bunny and Slappy Squirrel, both of whom directed and produced this movie. The movie stars the two toons as themselves, with additional appearances by Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton and Daffy Duck. Since it's release, it has spawned four sequels, a TV series and a straight-to-video movie, making one of the most overused franchises ever conceived.
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[edit] Plot
Set at the start of 2007, Lola Bunny wakes up in her penthouse at Bunnyham Palace and fetches the morning paper, which claims that she is dead. Outside, everyone is surprised partly to see her up and about, but mostly because she is completely naked.
Elsewhere, Slappy Squirrel has just woken from a night of S&M with her love-partner, a man named Crablogger, and wakes up for a smoke. Turning on the TV, she finds the Fox Bros. Network plastered with news of the deaths of her and Lola, and drags out Crablogger, whose real name is Andy, to the studio along with her nephew Skippy Squirrel to the studio to put a stop to this.
Lola has called Daffy Duck, who has just finished filing a lawsuit against the Mexican tabloids who reported his death. Before he can say anything, a sexy female Ninja comes in and kidnaps Daffy, leaving Lola in a wrecked home due to a stray Hand Grenade from the nearby Wal Mart.
Slappy succeeds in winning a huge wad of cash from the Fox Bros. Network due to false advertising, when several armed knights appear and spray tear gas everywhere, trying to massacre everyone. Thanks to Slappy's umbrella, she impales their ringleader through the testes and the other retreat in fear. Slappy decides to pay Lola a visit and see who the attackers were.
Lola and Slappy meet up and discuss events so far. Skippy notices several of Daffy's black feathers forming a trail to the docks and to a boat bound for England. They stow away in the cargo hold and use Andy as their above-deck eyes and ears, due to his lifetime pass as a member of the Uncyclomedia Foundation.
As the ship is halfway across the Atlantic, Tom Cruise discovers a bomb that will detonate once the ship arrives in Southampton, but is lynched to death for disturbing a shuffleboard game. Realising the danger, Slappy, Lola and the others jump ship in a lifeboat and let the others stew. They arrive at Bristol in time to see a mushroom cloud appearing from the direction of Southampton.
Taking shelter at a small London flat, Lola takes a bath to think while Slappy and Andy have Sex to while the night away. As all this is happening, Skippy receives help from Sherlock Holmes to find the culprit, but a power cut follows, and when it resumes, they find that Sherlock has been kidnapped.
After a minute to get changed, the group follow a series of damp footprints which lead to a castle. Inside, they find a huge stockpile of nuclear warheads and WMDs, cleverly disguised as spears and rams. In the dungeon, they find Sherlock and Daffy, barely alive, as well as several ninja monkeys who attacked Slappy. As the fight ensues, in which Lola's clothes are half-torn off, the villains enter. The sexy ninja being Paris Hilton, and the real mastermind, Oliver Cromwell, speaking of demoralising the World by killing off the heroes the world look up to.
The Monkey Ninjas begin to attack the group, but are quickly killed off when Skippy plays a recording of Bob Hope brushing his teeth on a Wednesday. Paris Hilton attacks them, and seems to enter a fake-out make-out with Andy, but Slappy kills her by shoving a stick of dynamite up her ass, claiming it to be a dildo.
With only Cromwell left, he and Lola enter a swordfight while Slappy helps Daffy and Sherlock to get to safety. Lola wins by displaying her breasts to send Oliver into a shock long enough to kick him up the balls and hit him over the head with a mallet. Oliver is tried in a British court and found guilty, and sentenced to 3,000 years in prison. Lola and Slappy return to America satisfied with justice.
[edit] Critical Reaction
Reaction to the film received 263% fresh from Rotten Potatoes, and was praised highly for the fast-paced action. It was also seen as a blockbuster in it's own right, garnishing $400,000,000,000,000,000 from the Box Office in it's first week alone.
Roger Ebert described the film as: "...a truly great masterpiece. Not since Looney Tunes: Back in Action have I seen anything this good! Plus, I feel Lola's tits were a great touch..."
The film received 150 Oscars, 19 Golden Globes, 6 Emmys, 5 BAFTAs and 2 Razzies (both of which were for Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton), surpassing the likes of Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Looney Tunes: Back in Action and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
[edit] Cast
- Slappy Squirrel - Herself
- Lola Bunny - Herself
- Skippy Squirrel - Himself
- Daffy Duck - Himself
- User:Crablogger - Andy
- David Hasselhoff - Sherlock Holmes
- Tony Blair - Oliver Cromwell
- Paris Hilton - The Sexy Ninja
- Every Screwball in Uzbekistan - The Monkey Ninjas
- David Beckham - Captain Bumgarden
- Fox Bros. Network - Itself
- Oscar Wilde - Tour Guide (uncreditted)
[edit] Sequels
The high income from the film has helped to boost the careers of Slappy Squirrel and Lola Bunny, as well as rake in nearly 300% of all movie profits. In 2009, a sequel was released entitled Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle. More information at the article's entry.
In 2011, Skippy Squirrel created yet another sequel, entitled Slappy's Angels 3. More information at the article's entry.
In 2013, all three films were spoofed in the comedy film, Action Movie. Although not canon with the series, it does show elements of all three films rolled into one.
In 2015, Skippy released the closing chapter of the TV series; a straight-to-video film called Slappy's Angels: 10 Seconds to Armageddon. The film was written purely to finish off the TV series and rake in a little more cash for the already overpaid producers.
In 2020, as if they hadn't made enough films already, Skippy Squirrel created yet another pointless sequel to the dying franchise, entitled Slappy's Angels 4: The Quest for More Money.
A fifth Slappy's Angels movie was considered by Skippy Squirrel and the Fox Bros. Network. Reaction to this announcement was shaky, to the point of Steven Spielberg maiming reporters camped outside his house. However, when the fifth and final movie, Slappy's Angels 5, came out in theaters, everyone was glad that the fucking franchise was finally over.
[edit] Trivia
- When they are in the cargo hold, Skippy is reading a paperback copy of Return of the Killer Tomatoes, the bestselling book which outpaced another bestseller, How to do It with a Squirrel, which was coincidentally written by User:Crablogger.
- The scene with Tom Cruise echoes his spotlight-hogging scene in Speed 2.
- One of the people in the background at Bristol looks very much like Admiral Donald Duck.
- Oscar Wilde had a cameo in the film, as a tour guide going around the castle. This scene was cut due to timing, but appears as a deleted scene on the DVD.
- Paris Hilton actually wore a bra in this production.
- The severed head of Bugs Bunny can be seen impaled on a wooden spike at the castle entrance.
- The Uzbeks who played the Ninja Monkeys looked so much like real monkeys that no make-up was used for them.
[edit] DVD Releases
Slappy's Angels was released as part of a box-set with Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle and Slappy's Angels 3 in 2012, along with two episodes of the Slappy's Angels TV series that aired in the same year. The film has never been released as a separate entity due to the machinations of the scheming execs of the Fox Bros. Network.
Following news of a fifth movie, the Fox Bros. Network released all four movies with the entire TV series in a special box-set in 2029, entitled The Definitive Slappy's Angels Collection. The boxset was released in Regions 1, 2 and 3 in January, with Regions 4 to 395 following in February.
In 2037, the entire collection of films and the TV series was released as The Complete Slappy's Angels Collection to commemorate the 30th Anniversary of the series. It was released in Regions 1 through to 400 worldwide on the same day.
| This article is part of UnFilm
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| Slappy's Angels series | |
|---|---|
| The Angels | Slappy Squirrel • Lola Bunny • Minerva Mink |
| Supporting Cast | Skippy Squirrel • User:Crablogger • Borat Sagdiyev |
| Films | Slappy's Angels • Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle • Slappy's Angels 3 • Slappy's Angels 4: The Quest for More Money • Slappy's Angels 5 |
| TV series | Slappy's Angels (TV series) • Slappy's Angels: 10 Seconds to Armageddon • Azamat Bagatov |
| Miscellaneous | Action Movie • Fox Bros. Network • Great Britain • Kazakhstan • Monkey Ninjas |
Categories: UnFilm | Mass Media | Templates | Cartoons | Films | Movies
