Small Vietnamese restaurants

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It is a widely-known fact that on any given commercial district city street, there will undoubtedly be a small, slightly grimy Vietnamese restaurant. This restaurant will almost invariably be closed or have little to no clientele.

Those foolish enough to venture into small Vietnamese restaurants have said that they generally contain a heavy, cloying odour of bad fish and bovine sweat. Few who have entered the restaurants ever return; no one knows the exact reason but many stories abound as to its explanation; the most popular is that many of the would-be customers who enter get eaten by a grue.

The truth behind this, according to one professional small Vietnamese restaurant-explorer named Terrence Hardings, is altogether stranger. Hardings maintains that these small Vietnamese restaurants are in fact sophisticated time travel devices used by the pie-eating aliens of Anthraxia Beta to travel the universe in both time and space. Hardings allegedly discovered their devious plan to rule the earth using a network of small Vietnamese restaurants strategically placed throughout major cities, and has devoted the rest of his days to stopping them at all costs.

It is a commonly-held belief that small Vietnamese restaurants are never open, but this is in fact not the case. Whenever the Anthraxians wish to secure prey for their feeding, they open the restaurants and allow unsuspecting prey to wander in. When these foolish fools are least expecting it, the doors shut with a clang, trapping them inside, where they are slowly absorbed by the restaurant’s vomitious digestive juices.

This is simply food to fuel the restaurants themselves, however. Whenever the Anthraxians wish to feed, they simply capture stray cats and eat them, leaving their bones behind when the restaurants leave and move on, which sustains the urban myth that Vietnamese people eat cats. It is in fact the Anthraxians who do this, and if you ever find cat bones near a small Vietnamese restaurant, you will know that it is really an Anthraxian ship and must be avoided at all costs. Do not attempt to enter or attack the restaurant; leave this to a trained professional pest building controller who deals with small Vietnamese restaurants.

The professional will enter the restaurant wearing a protective bio-suit and proceed to sanitise the interior, stripping the ship of its ‘engine spirit’ and cleansing it to make it habitable once more. It is these building pest controllers who are leading the fight against the Anthraxians’ restaurant-ships and other even deadlier buildings, such as insurance firms and banks.