Smurfs
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“I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die.”
~ Super Smurf on the reality of being a smurf
“If I was green, I would die da ba dee da ba die.”
~ Super Smurf #2 on the reality of being green
“What a smurfing waste of space!”
Smurfs (smurfific name: Smurf Men Smurf Smurf Father) are a smurfed smurfie species of red-smurfed midget smurfive to the forests of Europe and smurfed for their patriarchal system, smurf of female members and basic smurfing of the English language.
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[edit] Smurfiology
Smurfs are smurfer than your average midget, with scientific study smurfing their size at that of 3 apples - they smurf from a species-wide smurfation that causes their skin pigment to be blue and also smurfs them to be born with only three fingers (wierd). Smurfs are also smurfed with tails that are customarily smurfed at birth, smurfing small bulbs to smurf throughout their adult life. Smurfs are also smurfed to have a complete smurf of body hair and may be cold-smurfed and/or smurfibious. Smurfs are also extremely long-smurfed creatures, with wild Smurfs smurfed to smurf into their 100s - Smurfs in captivity smurf a lower lifespan, smurfly due to the smurf of smurfing when it comes to proper smurf of Smurfs by their smurfers. smurfs touch bugs. In old smurfage smurfs smurf their smurfers until fully smurfed and then release them into the wild. The oldest living smurf has now smurfed but was 16 kilograms old weighing 17 years. Smurfs taste great in a nice hot, boiling cauldren of water.
[edit] Culture & Society
Smurfs are smurfed to smurf in a manner similar to honeybees, with a large collection of male smurfer drones, a hive-smurf and a single female entity smurfed as the Smurfette. However, unlike honeybees the Smurfs are smurfed by a male smurfed as the Papa Smurf (PAPA SMURF RULES, WHOO!!!!)- this alpha-male is smurfed from the drones by his smurfful red hat, while normal drones smurf white hats. It is unsmurfed whether or not this Papa Smurf is the sole smurfeator of the Smurfs or if he smurfly smurfs around smurfing important - what is smurfed is that Smurfs are smurfly smurfive of their leader, who in turn seems to smurf them. They also enjoy smurfo.
[edit] Diet
The bad guy's cat.
[edit] Natural Habitat
Smurfs Smurf in smurf Mushrooms. They smurf in them, they smurf in them, and they also smurf in them. smurfs also have appeared in many cameos due to smurfing in smurfs. Smurfs have smurfed in Super Mario World 3, when mario smurfs a mushroom, you can smurf a little smurf inside of a smurf. they also smurf inside papa smurfs smurfhole.They are also known for smurfing each others smurfettes while the male smurf is working their smurfing smurfs off. Smurfs like to get smurfed.
[edit] Smurfs as Food
Smurfs are eaten in many cultures, including Korea, Paraguay, Scotland, Iceland and Wisconsin. They can be eaten raw, huffed, broiled or stir fried. Smurf meat has a texture like squid, and tastes like a mixture of blu-tack and frozen peas.
Smurf farms can also be found in Connecticut and upstate New York, where they produce low-grade Smurf meat stews for homeless soup kitchens in New York City, and for the United States Army and Navy. Some American school cafeterias have recently attempted to introduce Smurf-based meals into their menus, as a cheap alternative to chitlins or monkey giblets, but this trend has so-far proved unpopular with schoolchildren, and has attracted opposition from some Smurf Rights groups, including SMETA.
The blue liqueur Curacao is distilled from the bodily secretions of dying Smurfs, who are boiled in goat urine for several days.
[edit] Smurfed Threats To Smurf Smurfival
Along with smurfution, desmurfation and smurfition with other midgets a rise in smurfing for food has made the Smurf population smurf dramatically. Some cultures believe that Smurfs smurf magical properties that can be smurfed to a human via smurfumption - the demand for Smurf parts has fuelled illegal smurfing and smurfing of Smurfs worldwide. Smurfs are also victims of harsh smurfism. This led to the smurfexing of smurfland by Burkina Faso and the smurfession and smurficing of the smurfs. In 2004, the smurfs finally smurfed independence under the wise smurfership of King Arthur and Keira Smurfley in the Great Smurf smurfellion. King Arthur and Keira Smurfley are now smurfed as gods among the smurfs and are currently the subject of many smurf smurfices. This is smurfing a problem, however, as the smurf population is greatly smurfing and the species may be smurfed by 2016. If smurfed into a corner however smurfs will smurf you until you don't know what the smurf is happening. A survivor of a smurfing said "I was just popping smurfs and minding my own business and a smurf just smurfed up, smurfed me and smurfed away. I was shocked and then i wasn't. I will never smurf a smurf again unless it smurfs me first."
[edit] Controversy
There is much controsmurfy on the colors of a Smurf. While Smurfs are naturasmurflly born blue, their colors can be changed. Emo smurfs are usually pure white with scars cut in the shape of your mum! on their arms, legs, wrists, necks, chests, and left eyelids. The whiteness is caused by almost no exsmurfsure to smurflight. Goth smurfs, while they sometimes appear to be black, are in fact still blue, but have colored their skin with a Sharpie. Most goth smurfs smurf at an early age due to ODs on Sharpie smurfing. To this day it is unclear the color a Smurf will turn when strangled, many scientists have attempted to do this but are always turned into smurf turds, Einsmurfs theory of Relosmurfity (s=m*u+r-f2) predicts thay turn pink with lime green polka dots as their smurfness is mixed with the slight smurfness of the strangler and the nearest material to the smurf.
