Snoopy
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“I Know Snoopy Rather Well, He's Good Friends With My Corgies”
~ The Queen on On Her Corgies
“I Met Snoopy Once, When I Was Acting As The Queens Corgi”
~ Oscar Wilde on On Being A Corgie
Snoopy (born Isaac Snupowsky on March 20 1977) is a famous ex-pilot and indie film star. He is best known for being the one to kill the Red Baron and his most famous movie role was playing the part of Charlie Brown in the Peanuts Christmas Special, which Snoopy himself directed. Snoopy also played drums for The Beatles before being replaced by Ringo Starr.
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[edit] Early Life
Snoopy was greatly influenced by his early childhood, being raised by a severely depressed child undergoing chemotherapy by the name of one Mr. Charlie Brown (the same Charlie Brown who Snoopy would later portray in film).Charlie would beat Snoopy constantly, and sexually harass him often. Charlie used Snoopy to do his dirty work and put him to slave labor. Snoopy would sometimes be forced to wear laether clothing and whip Charlie Brown, saying how naughty he had been. Snoopy started smoking pot to deal with the pain, and became an outcast at school. He claimed that he was sexually curious growing up, wondering if he was gay. He took a strong interest in music, especially that of Pink Floyd and The Grateful Dead. Soon,however,Snoopy decided to get off the weed and try to build a relationship with Charlie. This would eventually lead Snoopy to leave his life as a regular dog and pursue a career in the US Air Force.
[edit] Pilot Years
After initially joining the US Air Force, War broke out. Snoopy soon proved himself to be an ace fighter pilot. All went well for about a year, at which point, Snoopy found himself face-to-face with the man who would later become his greatest enemy: The Red Baron. The two actually met during that year's Christmas party, where both sides put down their weapons and simply had one night of peace. Snoopy and the Baron were instant friends, and spent the night hanging out over a couple of beers. In a display of sad irony, Snoopy learned the very next day that the Red Baron happened to be the best pilot that the enemies had, and that Snoopy was being appointed with the job to kill him. Crushed as he was, Snoopy could not disobey orders. After months of chasing down the Red Baron, and after several Dogfights, Snoopy eventually got a clean hit to the Red Baron's engine, blowing up the Baron's plane and taking the Baron with it. It is reported that he challenged the German to a real dogfight and while the Baron was laughing, he got him in his sight. Immediately afterwards, Snoopy was honorably discharged and returned home to Charlie Brown. Once home, Snoopy became severley depressed and began using Heroin.Snoopy soon became dependant and was blowing all his money on smack. He claimed that he wasnt addicted and could stop any time he pleased but as it were, Snoopy was hooked. Snoopy and Charlie Brown started arguing alot and eventually disowned eachother. Snoopy was kicked out onto the streets and began working as a prostitute. He would trade handjobs for a fix of herion and a doggy biscut nightly. Eventually Snoopy ran out of money and decided to rob Charlie Brown. He and his dealer Scooby Doo made their way to Charlie's house and capped his ass. 14 rounds into that motherfucker and all for $60.00. The two used the money to buy more herion and shot up in Scooby's mystery mobile. Shaggy Rogers later reported that he had found the two the next morning. Scooby had overdosed and Snoopy was unconcius. After the murder investagation of Charlie Brown Snoopy was convicted of 3rd degree manslaughter. Snoopy got out after two months by bribing the warden with sexual favors. It was called "good behavior" but it was obvious what had happened. Snoopy then started life anew as a free man.
[edit] Film Star, Film Director
After moving back from a trip to Seattle for about a year to "find himself", Snoopy inexplicably began to take a liking to Indie Films, and was interested both in acting and in directing. He soon began to act in many films made by friends, and after a time made his own, which soon became very famous. He was an actor/director up until 2003, at which point he retired. He now lives with his wife Lucy in Northern California. Snoopy has also done a number of commercials including the andrex puppy. he also did a special appearance on family guy as an alcoholic dog.
[edit] Filmography
- A Charlie Brown Hanukkah (As Charlie Brown) (Director)
- That's a Regular Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (As Lucy) (Director)
- It's Just a Phase, Charlie Brown (As Linus) (Director)
- I Think We Should Just Be Friends, Charlie Brown (As Woodstock) (Director)
- Theres a Hit on you, Charlie Brown (As Agent 46) (Director)
- You're Screwed, Charlie Brown (As Himself) (Director)
- Nobody Loves You, Charlie Brown (As Schroeder) (Director)
- Alright, Fine, You're Not Actually That Big a Prick, Charlie Brown (As Peppermint Patty) (Director)
- Well, we had a Good Run, Charlie Brown (As Sally)
- I'm Suing You, Charlie Brown (As Pigpen)
- Spider-Man (As Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker as Spider-Man)
Categories: Dogs | Actors
