Soap opera
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“A week is a long time in politics...”
~ Harold Wilson on Politics
“Five minutes is a long time in soap operas...”
~ Everyone on Soap operas
“Wasn't I dead this time last week?.”
~ Mike Baldwin on Soap operas
“Don't drop the Opera...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Soap
“...especially in the shower room”
~ The Average Prisoner on dropping the Soap
“YOU BASTARD!!! How was I supposed to know you were having an affair with your Cheese Hat?'”
~ James Booth on Soap Operas
“You little cheating hussey, how was I suppose to know that you cheated on me with our, gardner,pool boy, and evil ex-brother!”
~ Dylan on Soap Operas
Soap Opera, a musical and theatrical performance in four acts inspired by Le chevalier de la figure longue by Jacques Le Lorrain and composed by Jules Massenet, was first performed at the Opéra de Monte Carlo on 19 Feb 1910.
It was once believed that Adam West invented the Soap Opera. This has been proven false by Bill Gates, after he bribed historians to make it so HE invented the Soap Opera.
[edit] Synopsis
Inspired by the tale and legends of Don Quichotte, Soap Opera centres on a pair of Quichotte-like figures from America who set out on a Crusade to conquer the Arab world and impose upon it what they consider to be the American Way, or Amway for short.
They meet resistance from the Ayatollah Khomeni, pretender to the throne of the shah of Persia, who launches a product he calls Death to America laundry detergent in a valiant but desperate effort to defend Arabia from the invading Western hordes and wash his hands of the evil American menace.
For comic relief, he is joined by Saddam Hussein, a two-bit pitchman aggressively promoting The Mother of all Brooms and other Middle Eastern cleaning products door-to-door.
[edit] Libretto
Narration is provided by the Iraqi information minister.
Soprano voices are provided by Lady Macbeth (out, out, damned spot!) and by Tony Soprano.
The performance ends when the fat lady sings.
- Librettists: Oprah, Rosie O'Donnell, Henri Cain
[edit] Performance History
“If a man can not think of a better thing to do than watching that trash, then he is tired of life!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Soap opera
Soap Opera has been running for many years under the Opera web browser, entertaining viewers both young and old who watch bemusedly as one character after another ascends the soapbox to sing the virtues of his nation's detergent over that of the infidels.
Tourists are advised to run as far away when you here the screaming high pitched sounds of fat ladys in dresses and skinny guys in tights
