Somebody
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
aka George lucas
“In Soviet Russia, NOBODY!”
~ Russian reversal on Somebody
“Don't you dare quote me”
~ Somebody on being quoted
“Somebody wrote this.”
~ Somebody on Somebody
“Be a Somebody!”
~ Somebody on Someone
“I am...Somebody”
~ Oscar Wilde on Oscar Wilde
Somebody is the traditional scapegoat for any situation where there is insufficient evidence to incriminate a particular individual. The name is most commonly brought into play when an authority figure is trying to conceal his/her ignorance of a culprit, but still desperately trying to maintain an air of offended dignity and/or justify emotional outbursts. This isn't helped by humanity's general tendency to want to claim responsibility when something good is done, but would prefer to stand back and point fingers when something reprehensible is done. Somebody wishes that he would quit being the fall guy for all of humanity's shenanigans, and that a more deserving scapegoat would be found -- for example Hitler or Mussolini. Experts claim, however, that a number of things really were Somebody's fault, and that Somebody needs to "be a man about it" and admit the error of his ways.
[edit] Important Events
Somebody:
- is the person who set up us the bomb (not to be confused with Someone)
- framed Lee Harvey Oswald for the assassination of John F. Kennedy
- killed Kenny
- founded Canada
- set a precedence for racism
- was found for Freddie Mercury to love
- had been eating the porridge, according to the testimony of an anonymous family of bears, but was later found innocent, as the perpetrator was later found out to be none other than the infamous criminal known as "Goldie Locks", who is currently serving time in Pikachusetts State Penitentiary for a long series of vicious crimes, including but not limited to trespassing, armed robbery and rape
- kicked my dog
- Is actually a bit more ugly than you *Whoa*
- Dies every 10 seconds
- impregnated your mother
- stole my two cows
- was found singing I Love America with Osama Bin Laden and Brad Pitt
- told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year
- voted for George W Bush
- won't be too happy about that
- wants you to clean your room.
- Is friends with nobody.
- will be six in February
- is not you.
- has shit on the coats!
- did your mom (Everybody was soon to follow, in yet another attempt to break out of the codependent "Everybody needs Somebody" spiral and move on)
- Is behind you
- Is poisoning the water hole.
- Is writing bad jokes on this page.
- Is following me.
- Could be anybody.
- Could have a life instead of reading this
- Put something in my drink!
[edit] Facts about Somebody
- He's a doctor.
- He watches you masturbate.
- He stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
- He is Nyxa's father.
- He watches you while you change.
- He knows what you did. Oh yes, he knows...
- He is a cat
- He has rape charges filed against him (as long as that person's name starts with a K and ends with a obe Bryant)
- He stole your credit cards.
- He once drank a gallon of milk in 37 seconds
[edit] Related Entries
| Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
