Someone
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“Something”
~ Someone on Something
“Went out with her. The next day my girlfriend broke up with me.”
~ This guy on Someone Else
“We went with a guy somewhere, and someone else was there, and we had a great time.”
~ That guy on Someone Else
“He's practical to have around because you can always blame him for your own mistakes - I wouldn't know what to do without him.”
~ George W. Bush on Someone Else
Jean-Jaques Pierre Soméone Else is best known for his position as the French ambassador to Mexico from 1972-200001. Before and during his lengthy diplomatic tenure, however, he was a man of many many impressive accomplishments. He accomplished many things during this time, also accomplishing things that were numerous in number. His accomplishments were many and far between. Of all the things, myriad were those of his doing. Being of things to be done, many were of him. Of him were the doings of a myriad of done things.
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[edit] The Early Life of Soméone
Soméone Else was born in a trench to a French soldier during the Great War; Someone Else's records show hsi was born in Elsewhere, or Altrove, or αλλού, or Ailleurs, or somewhere with a similar name. Unfortunately there is a village or town with that name in every country, so we cannot know for sure where in the world Someone Else actually popped -- squalling and kicking -- into the light of day. (Or night, given the time difference between Elsewhere and here).
His mother (who smelt like fish), Stephanie Louise Adrienne de Nobody, had disguised herself as a man so that she could join the army with her lover, Berthe Soméone, and they could face the dubious fortunes of war separated, while sneaking off together between firefights and making desperate and furtive love to the cadence of bursting shells and automatic weapon fire --their nostrils filled with the amorous scent of mustard gas and sweet sweet death, as their cold fingers groped at dirty straps and buttons, straining for freedom from the heavy restrictive fatigues, caressed heaving sweat-soaked flesh. Berthe thrust his throbbing love organ into the quivering jelly of-- Anyway, they finished up, and it came to be that Stephanie grew heavy with child. Nine months later, she bore the child in the same muddy trench, with the aid of a wandering minstrel/midwife, who played a bawdy tune on a lute with his left hand, while delivering the baby with the right.
Growing up in the trenches was tough for little Jean-Jaques. He had very little food, and no playmates other than a little German girl who would sometimes visit from across terra nullius with a massive Hitler toy.
Hsi grew up playing arcane sports with incomprehensible rules, and eating strange foods that would give the rest of us the bubbling heaves. Hsi went to a school none of us ever heard of, and graduated from a university somewhere else again.
[edit] Adulthood
Hsi works at an abstruse job doing something absolutely not understandable. Hsi has a family (or possibly not) but its structure and traditions are alien to us. Someone Else participates in a sort of politics that we cannot grasp, and still eats weird food. In fact, hsi cooks weird food...or possibly eats it raw.
[edit] Famous Someone
- He
- She
- Secret agent
- George W Bush (oops shouldn´t write that)
[edit] The Famous Exploits of Soméone
Setting Up People The Bomb
Soméone is famous in the underground for having allegedly set up several groups of people bombs. This is however a misunderstanding, as the majority of the bombs were actually set up for and by people.
Culinary Career
Soméone was briefly a cooking hobbyist in between his larger, more noted achievements. While cooking, he could often be found in the kitchen with a mysterious "Dinah". It is also rumoured that he left a cake out in the rain in McArthur Park. His friend Richard Harris lost the recipe and couldn't take it. It cost Harris his singing career.
Philanthropy
Soméone, being such an extraordinarily wealthy man, would often pay for things that he had no prior knowledge of or involvement with. Unfortunately, his generosity eventually led to his downfall, as people began making promises that he would pay for things when he had no knowledge of this expectation. As can be imagined, the crushed expectations of monetary consummation caused many to be wroth indeed, and many people became very angry at Soméone for not paying them what they had been told he would.
[edit] Soméone v. the Paparazzi
The landmark 1974 supreme court decision of Soméone vs. The Paparazzi was followed closely by the media and is still frequently used in law-school to demonstrate the concepts of imminent domain and trashy journalism. Soméone filed suit in 1969, claiming that The Paparazzi had "invaded and occupied [his] bathroom" and were using it as a darkroom to develop illicit photographs of celebrities. He claimed that he had suffered "severe and permanent psychological harm" and that over $700 of property had been damaged or destroyed, much of it with strong sentimental value. Defense for The Paparazzi argued that the bathroom had been given as a gift, and that any claims of psychological damage were ridiculous.
| Preceded by: Nobody | French Ambassador to Mexico 1972-2001 | Succeeded by: Everybody |
[edit] Facts about Someone
- He is Someone Else's best friend.
- He has a dream.
- He hates ball point pens.
- He is cooler than you are.
- He is a good cook.
- He likes reading magazines.
- He is against chicken huffing, but loves kitten huffing.
- He has had three major surgeries
- He is best known for being a major part of drama and secrets
- He does things people don't think any would do. For instance: Enjoys fecal matter in his sexual endeavors; has actually masterbated to Two Girls One Cup; and he is allergic to apples.
[edit] The Other Someone Else
Someone Else are a very unusual group of people.
- They live on an island called Somewhere, peacefully and calmly, but every once in a while, when someone calls for help when no one is around, suddenly a member of the islanders vanishes and appears where he is needed.
- They don't always help, actually they are most likely to run away in fear, calling for Someone Else for aid.
- This way, not many people remain today on Somewhere, and they are considered an endangered species.
- Steve Irwin has long been planing a trip to Somewhere, but due to lack of money and sponsors, all people and companies asked to participate replied with "ask someone else", the trip was prostponed until 2008.
- Someone Else may be the most misunderstood individual in the world. He/she/it (for brevity, 'hsi) cannot, by simple nature, be anyone we know or understand.
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