Sophisticated Complicated Underwater Breathing Apparatus

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The Sophisticated Complicated Underwater Breathing Apparatus, or SOCO-UNBRAP for short, is a revolutionary device that allows human beings and other assorted living things like monkeys or trees to breathe while submersed underwater.

[edit] Construction

A typical SOCO-UNBRAP device is used by the military on dangerous underwater missions, like the planned pre-emptive strike against the terrorist nation of Atlantis. It is made of two tanks of helium strapped to a diver's back so that they sound funny when radioing back their coordinates. The contents of these tanks are filtered into the mouth of the diver, allowing him to breathe in the life-giving atmosphere, and then expel it back again, where a separate compartment housing Keebler elves transmogrifies the exhaled helium into delicious chocolate chip cookies.

Rudimentary SOCO-UNBRAP devices can also be made at home for cheap! All the materials needed are an empty soup can and a piece of string. Simply drill two holes in the can, loop the string through them, and attach the device to your child's face. Seal any open spaces with rubber cement or wood glue to ensure no leakage of atmosphere. The wearer is now able to spend as long as they want underwater breathing their small supply of oxygen, which modern science has proven to be inexhaustible and reusable.

[edit] History

The first SOCO-UNBRAP device was created in 1842 by Abraham Lincoln. Archeologists, however, have recently unearthed primitive devices among Aztec ruins. These findings are to be considered false, however, as the SOCO-UNBRAP device is an American invention, inspired by the true God for the best nation on Earth. The primitive devices were planted by Communists. There is no such thing as an Aztec.