Soviet Britain
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this. |
| |||||
| Motto: Tea and Equality | |||||
| Anthem: "Rule, Soviet Britannia!" | |||||
| |||||
| Capital | Londongrad | ||||
| Largest city | Blairingrad | ||||
| Official languages | Englishski | ||||
| Government | Peoples Коммциіѕт Republic | ||||
| -Premier | Comrade Gordon Brownski | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Comrade Hood, Comrade Wilde, Comrade Brush, Comrade Arsehole, | ||||
| Declaration of Formation | 1991 | ||||
| Currency | Glorious Pound Sterling | ||||
| Religion | Glorious Коммциіѕт Christianity | ||||
“In Soviet Britain, the piss of Soviet Russia is taken out of YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Soviet Britain
“Soviet Britain - Cheeses' biggest enemy.”
~ Nick Anastasov on Soviet Britain
“Da Comrade Kommisar”
~ Comrade Wilde on Great and Glorious Primier of Soviet Britain“This Glorious Union of Kingdoms is Коммциіѕт”
~ Comrade Captain Obvious on Soviet Britain
Contents |
[edit] General Information
[edit] Da Revolution
In 1991 the Soviet Union colapsed, this left Gorbachev somewhat unemployed. Seeing as the United Kingdom was similar in many ways to his homeland (e.g. geographical size), Gorbachev desided to set up base there. By promising a bunch of farmers 1 000 000 reubels each, he succeeded where so many others had failed in creating a British Коммциіѕт revolution. By the time the revolutionies discovered that 1 000 000 reubels is only worth 10p (the reubel is one of the most worthless currencies in the world), it was far to late and Gorbachev was safely installed as Premier. However, as soon as 1996 he had been deposed and the mantel of Premier was taken on by Tony Bairin, who immediatly founded Blairingrad, an entirely fictional city. The Queen retains her position as head of state and although her title has changed to 'Glorious Leader of the Revolution' she still fufills all the duties she did before, including having a politically incorrect husband.
[edit] British Reversal
This is system of reversal similar to Russian Reversal. It exsists only to mock Russian Reversal. The main differance between British and Russian Reversal is that British reversal is highly likely to complain about the weather, climate or life in general*. Thus we have:“In Soviet Britain, queue wait patiently for YOU!!”
~ British Reversal on queueing
“In Soviet Britain, cloud rain on YOU!! (always)”
~ British Reversal on cloud“In Soviet Britain, weather complain about YOU!!”
~ British Reversal on weather“In Soviet Britain, Fox hunt YOU!!”
~ British Reversal on Fox hunting
[edit] Famous Comrades
[edit] Comrade Hood
Long before the birth of the great philosopher, Karl Marx, Robin Hood was already fighting the imperialistic bastards of Ye Olde feudal system. Although labeled a terrorist by the bourgeoise oppressor, the Sheriff of Nottingham, Comrade Hood was a true Коммциіѕт, taking from the Rich and giving to the poor.
[edit] Comrade Wilde
Comrade Wilde was an Irish poet (Ireland was entirely British then). At some point during his life he must have done something of note to become one of the heroes of Uncyclopedia. It is rumered that the dropped his trousers in front of the Queen, that he founded Uncyclopedia and also that he saw Chuck Norris, twice. He is also believed to have had sex with most people. Comrade Wilde became a hero by forcing the imperialist scum to spend long periods of time trying to work out what his sexuality was.
[edit] Winston Churchill
A great British hero who lived before the Glorious revolution. Whilst not being a lefty, Churchill led Primaeval Britain to VICTORY against the Nazis of Europe and Asia. This may or may not have been done by taking off every spitfire. Chuchill was also the first in the then West to realise that the Iron Curtain was in fact made of iron, and not as the Americans had believed, chocolate.
[edit] Comrade Brush
Comrade Brush was one the great heroes of the Glorious Коммциіѕт Revolution. Leaving his role as children's comedian, he led the glorious rebels against the oppressors at the 2nd battle of Londongrad and is best remembered for his war cry of "Ah, Ha Ha Ha, Boom Boom!!!" After our glorious victory, he found himself in an active role in the glorious Politburo. Tragically he was blown up in mysterious circumstances next year.
[edit] Former Comrade Premier Tony Blairin
Blarin came to power in 1996 after the fall of Gorbachev. He ruled for over 10 years and was made imfamous by pushing the boundaries of incompetence beyond what was thought humanly possible. Known accomplices include John Prescott, believed by some to be the ringleader of the teletubby uprising of 1984.
[edit] Comrade Premier Brownski
When Blairin finally left power, Comrade Brownski took the mantel of premier. Despite accusations of having no personality, infact at all, Drownski maintains that he models himself on Stalin, which of course is so much better. Whilst not quite such an asshole as Blairin, Brownski has promoted low data security, insisting that the personal details of thousands of British Comrades must be lost to the criminal underground every week.
[edit] Comrade Big Brother
In 1984 Margaret Thatcher mutated into Big Brother for no real reason at all. For a year, we spent our time at war with Eurasia, no sorry, Eastasia, no wait, er..., Eurasia (WTF I'm confused) and trying to destroy the richest language in the world. In 1984, however, the mind of Big Brother decided to leave (no reason was ever given, but it may be because George Orwell was long dead in 1958) and thus the physical form became Maggie yet again until 1991. Comrade Brother, it seems, floated across the ether, finally manifesting himself as Vladimir Putin (some nobody person in non-Soviet Russia). It also appears that Big Brother is responsible for a program in which millions watch a heap of derainged lunanics:
- wander about half dressed,
- complain about comstipation
- have random and surprise sex
- and cause international rows
Bastard has no hat allwise, oh NOES!!!
[edit] Comrade Neil Clark
A one man Stasi, Neil Clark will come after you in the middle of the night and drain your body of blood. No sorry, that was Dracula. This Neil Clark will come after you for tax, or work with the Inquisition, if you dare to disagree with his view of what is good for you.
[edit] Soviet England
Due to a terrible misclassification, Britain and England have never properly differentiated. Those in Soviet England spend much time believing that the other members of the Great and Glorious Union are happy and content whilst simultaneously attempting to make jokes at them in which the Irish are normally the butt. However, due to British Reversal, this becomes inpractical.“In Soviet England, Tea drinks YOU!!”
~ British Reversal on Tea
And so on and so forth...“In Soviet England, Joke about the Irish is butt of YOU!!”
This annoyed the English somewhat. Feeling down and depressed, many resorted to drinking copious amounts of tea. However, as we know from British Reversal, this not that easy. Indeed, as a result of many English being drunk by tea, the population of England was reduced to an abysmally small number, like that of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. On the other hand, many believe that most of the English moved to the Isle of YOU!!. To this day this mystery has not yet been resolved.
[edit] Soviet Scotland
The Scotts of Soviet Scotland are much like those you know. Like the normal breed, they suffer from the delusion that separating Scotland from England with nukes will do them good. The biggest difference is that the Soviet Scotts are mortally afraid of haggis, mainly beacause:“In Soviet Scotland, Och aye the YOU!!”
~ Comrade Groundskeeper Willie on Soviet Scotland
Similar to the English tea crisis, after the British Коммциіѕт revolution, many Scotts died after being drunk by whiskey. In the sense that:“In Soviet Scotland, Haggis prey on Ye!!”
~ British Reversal on haggis
Many Scotts were too drunk from pre-revolution drinking and thus were incappable of drinking* or caring. Interrestingly, because Scotts make Whiskey drunk, many bottles of whiskey have since lost their jobs.“In Soviet Scotland, Whiskey drink You!!”
~ British Reversal on alcohol
*In your dreams!!!
[edit] Soviet Wales
For the majority of the population of Wales (i.e. the sheep) the British Коммциіѕт brought a new and previously unknown level of freedom. The humble proletariat and peasant sheep sudenly found themselves the social equals of their former overlords, the farmers. Of course, they still found themselves occasionally forced in to strange and peverse acts for the farmers pleasure. There have, since, however been allogations of farmers being assaulted by sheep but these are yet to be comfirmed.“In Soviet Wales, Farmer has sex with EWE!!”
~ British Reversal on Welsh Sheep Farmers
[edit] Soviet Northern Ireland
The Northen Irish hold a special place in the heart of the nations of Soviet Britain. Being even more drunken than the Scotts. In fact many have not yet relised that revolution has been and gone. Most have assumed that I am referring to the industrial revolution. Desite that fact that the Irish have a reputation for stupidity. It has been theorised that should the Irish give up their excessive alcohol consumtion, they would actually be highly inteligent, much like Comrade Wilde. As this as likely as Comrade Chuck Norris being eatten by Comrade Grue, it probally won't come to pass. BTW, The inhabitants of Soviet Northern Ireland are immune to hangovers and hence the phrase:“Should I be drinking Vodka or Guinness?”
~ Comrade Wilde on drinks of Soviet Ireland
Although, maybe because British Reversal is required it should be:“Top o'the morning Comrade”
“Bottom o'the morning Comrade You”
[edit] See Also
Barmy British Stuff | Commonwealth of Independent States - Former USSR Republics |
| Russia ~ Belarus ~ Ukraine ~ Estonia ~ Latvia ~ Lithuania ~ Moldova / Moldavia ~ Mordovia ~ Armenia ~ Azerbaijan ~ Georgia ~ Kazakhstan ~ Kyrgyzstan / Krgystan ~ Mongolistan ~ Ghettoistan ~ Tajikistan ~ Turkmenistan ~ Uzbekistan ~ other Stan countries ~ Alaska ~ Israel ~ Lipsonia ~ Soviet Britain |
