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For the band see: Soviet Union (band)

	This article was written by a кoммциіѕт.
	In Soviet Яussia, template adds YOU!!

“Iи кюммцйіѕт Яцssia, aятicгзs язad чюц!!”

~ Дядя Гарт on Амеязка

“In USSR, whotes pay YOU!!”

~ Russian reversal on USSR

“In Soviet Russia, RSS feeds YOU!!”

~ Russian reversal on USSR

“In Soviet Russia, SSR U!!”

~ Russian reversal on USSR

“That is it! I have had it with these motherfuckin' Bourgeoisie on these motherfuckin' Proletariat!”

~ Lenin on the Motherland

“We're back in the US, back in the US, back in the USSR!”

~ The Beatles on Acid

The USSR (Russian: ИЗЗЯ) is the name for which Minster and its coworkers have named their region, 'The United Settlements Surrounding the Roundabouts'. The USSR was created in the Big GangBang, where Mother Monkton, Mister Minster, and Frank, the Gods of the USSR engaged in group sex, which resulted (to their surprise) in offspring being created, which then went to inhabit Minster, Monkton, and St.Nicholas-at-wade.

Not much is known of the soviets except for the fact that they loved golden hammers like the ones from harvest moon and some kind of fucking golden hook type thing...popularized by their flag thing. Somehow these ideals conflicted with the United States and everything they held dear (i.e. Pigs, freedom fries, canibalism, fake democracy, Prohibition, fake moon landings, snow, despair, and presidents with mutton chops). This conflict of interests led to strong animosity between the two countries, culminating in the fiercely battled Cold War, which in retrospect is a retarded name since there wasn't much war, and if there was it was always in hot places. Fucking historians.

Rumored to be located somewhere north of the south pole, it was the world's first communist state and second user of the backward R (to give it a sort of "Яussian flavor"). The country is famed for its cunning linguists and master debaters, empowered by their frequent use of a very powerful linguistic tool that originated in their culture, the so called "Russian reversal". Even the most hard-lined opponents have been thwarted by this argumentative wonder. Historians do not know how far back in history the usage of the Russian reversal can be traced, but it is believed to have been started by brilliant USSR orator and philosopher, Yakov Smirnoff, with the phrase, "In Soviet Russia, party finds you!"

Contents 1 History 2 Achievements 3 Military Aggression 4 Allies 4.1 Fall of the USSR 4.2 See also

[edit] History

Main article: History of the USSR

IN SOVIET RUSSIA THE HISTORY READS YOU.

[edit] Achievements

Perhaps most notable accomplishment of the Soviets was the coining the now widely used term LOL. Russian for "comrade," it was a word developed to stand either before or after every sentence, phrase, word, letter, whatever and also for the most drunk people in the world (apart from the Irish and The Canadian Republic). For example, the sentence "Comrade, you've tested positive for AIDS" would be translated loosely to "LOL you have AIDS!" And now our internet sounds like a pack of twelve-year-old retards all hopped up on paint thinner. Damn commies polluting our children. We shoulda killed 'em all off when we had the chance back in the American Revolution. Oh they tried to fool us with all that British broo-hah-hah, but it's those red coats that give 'em away. Crafty swine... Huh? Oh! I mean... yeah, Russian achievements... Ummm, I guess Tetris is kinda fun... for like 8 seconds. They also make a pretty good scapegoat for every imaginable problem with the world from 1945 to 1991. EVERYTHING!

[edit] Military Aggression

The sole purpose of the Soviet military was the defeat of Santa Claus, who claimed to have a larger beard than Karl Marx and wore a red costume without the politburo's permission. The U.S. was chickenshit compared to Santa Claus who was the Soviet Union's one true and only feared enemy. His resistance to winter conditions and his ability to produce an unlimited supply of weapons in his North Pole facility made him quite formidable indeed. For this reason, the entire Soviet nuclear submarine fleet was stationed underneath the polar ice caps. If the worst should happen, and Santa's Elvish hordes were battering down the Kremlin's gates, these submarines would detonate themselves, ensuring that the jolly menace would haunt the Earth no more. If the worst had already happened, but things got worse anyway, Santa would summon the four horseman, and they would poo wildly.

In 1987, the Soviet Union made a desperate sprint for world conquest. With the aid of a manual on the building and maintaining of Hyperion class warships (found by a drunken ice fisherman and his polar bear) the Soviets began produceing what would soon become the Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet. Supreme Commander Aleksander Bashkir was appointed as the Admiral for this cosmic force. The assault started with an orbital volly on strategic points such as the Pentagon, White House and Nuclear Missle Silos, disrupting the chain of command and making President George W. Bush spill his coffee. Hapless Soviet conscripts where deployed from drop capsules and pushed through mexico, maiming anyone wearing a cowboy hat and pillageing those stupid suburbs,all with their identical houses and identical soccer moms and their identical kids called Jason and Jennifer. Due to the massive advantage of the battle fleet and America having a leader with an IQ closely rivaling that of a cardboard box, the United States of America quickly fell and its allies soon followed. The Admiral of the battle fleet and whatever US officals survived the assault signed the US's surrender. Unfortunately due to the fact that nearly everything that comes out of Russia is defective in some way, the battle fleet suddenly and without warning, detonated in low orbit, showering North America with radioacitve particles and debris, causeing mass birth defects and permanent retardation in the American Population.

[edit] Allies

Cuba, Poland, Ukraine, China, Loughborough, George, USA(just kidding but seriously they hated each other).

[edit] Fall of the USSR

The fall of Soviet Union occurred in December of 1991, when all its states broke up, becoming separate republics. This was caused by an unfortunate act of clumsiness because grandma Gorbachev left it on a windowsill and carelessly placed a flower next to it, missed because she forgot her glasses and had double vision, and knocked the USSR out the window. It shattered on the concrete sidewalk exactly 6.66 meters down from the window, a stream of beggars erupted from the allyways and snatched their as many pieces and they could carry to form their own republics. Fucking flower. FUCKING FLOWER AGAIN.

[edit] See also

• Minster
• Soviet Onion
• New USSR
• The real USSR
• Soviet
• Soviet Britain
• Sovietlands
• The Revolution:A history
• * Soviet Union (Mathematics)
• CCCP World Fair

v • d • e   Oppressive Яussian Stuff
Mother Russia:	Russians – Russia – Soviet Union - Moscow – Siberia – Belarus (sort of) – Ukraine (sort of) – Russian Ocean – USSR – New USSR
Diabolical people:	Cossacks – Vladimir Putin - Ivan the Terrible – Peter the Great – Catherine the Great – Rasputin - Lenin – Stalin - Vyacheslav Molotov – Leonid Brezhnev – Boris Yeltsin – Vladimir Putin – Dmitry Medved - Nikita Khrushchev - Nikola Šećeroski (former Soviet MTV celeb)
Not-quite-inhuman people:	Yakov Smirnoff – Leo Tolstoy - Fyodor the Not-So-Terrible – Piotr Illick Tchaikovsky – Yogi Berra – Anna Kournikova – Igor Stravinsky - Ayn Rand - Yuri Gagarin
Major events:	Russian Revolution – Battle of Stalingrad – Battle of the Kursk – Chernobyl – Russian Revolution of 1917 – Miss Chernobyl Beauty Pageant - 2002 Germany airplane sexual intercourse
Climate:	Winter
Russian Rioting:	The Bolsheviks – Communism - Grammar Communism – Gulag – Molotov cocktail – Russian reversal – Russian double reversal - Russian triple reversal – Cowmunism - Battleship Potemkin
Russian Cuisine:	Cabbage - Famine - Vodka - Soviet Onion - More Vodka

meta:UnSource:List of Russian reversals