Sovietlands
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[edit] Overview
Prior to the end of the Cold War, the United States of America found itself surrounded by enemies at all its various gates. As a country with fifty inferiorly small states, the number of gates between the states alone numbered in the thousands. Thus, this military term would apply to any area where the Soviet influence could extend.
[edit] First Incarnation
The Sovietlands map was first drawn up by Emperor Hirohito, a member of the legendary Y-Axis, as a method to control the spread of the Soviets towards the end of the Second World War, which appeared very similar to the more acknowledged map, with Japan as Blue instead. This technical strategy allowed the war to be dragged on endlessly, simply by changing the names of countries to confuse the enemy, until one American GI stopped and asked for directions.
[edit] Second Incarnation
The United States, in 1984, drew up their first version of the Sovietlands map. Unfortunately, 70% of all school children could not find the United States on the map until the year of 1985, during which the invention of the sliderule made the map completely obsolete. To this day, no child has been left behind (without a sliderule).
[edit] Third Reich Incarnation
Early in the War on Terror, not to be confused with the War on Drugs or the War on Literacy, the map was called forth again. Russia would make objections to the UN that the Soviet Union no longer exists and the map is completely out of date now, but George W. Bush, with sliderule in hand, demonstrated the incredible power of the map using most of his daddy's oilmoney to hire lobbyists.
Over the first seventeen minutes of use in the Oval Office, the following countries were temporarily renamed the United States of America, please note this are former soviet states ever since US conquered them:
Twice during the selection process did an intern's chest become a protectorate under George's "talented" hands.
