Soylent Green
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- You may be looking for People and not even know it!
βSOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!β
~ Oscar Wilde on Soylent Green
βMother made a great lasagne!β
~ Noel Coward on Home Cooking
βIt's good for breakfast, lunch or dinner! Warm it up or eat it right form the box.β
~ Jeffrey Dahmer on Cannibal Cooking Hour
βIt goes really well with fava beans and a nice chianti, ftftftftft.β
~ Hannibal Lecter on Soylent Green
βI would rike a Flesh Dlink.β
~ Engrish on Soylent Cola
βIts GREEEEEEN!β
~ Captain Obvious on Soylent Green
Soylent Green is manufactured by the people, for the people, from the people, with the people. It used to be crispy in the 1970s. It is soggy at best now. Once Soylent Green meant high quality protein; it is now nothing but fat.
Contents |
[edit] Tasty Bite Sized Snack
βI donated my family and friends to Soylent Green for bail money. It's a good thingβ
~ Martha Stewart on Soylent Green
Soylent Green is made from really old folks at the retirement home who don't get visitors, people who wear fanny packs and/or visors, the guy who lives at the YMCA, a few kids from Africa (for colouring), fat homos looking for a good time and anyone unlucky enough to be standing outside the factory when they run low on bodies. In a nutshell, it is made of the people, and byproducts of the people for "we the people". This hypothesis is contradicted by late 20th Century findings of Americans as being fucking fat and dying prematurely from said condition of being fucking fat. As of 1973, the only old folks used to make soylent green come from Arizona or Florida, with the rest of the USA providing young fat people.
Soylent green is manufactured in two grades, although few lay-persons can tell the difference. The higher grade is made from still living human flesh, while the lower grade has a slightly flatter taste, and is primarily made from exhumed corpses. Soylent green provides a huge amount of fatty acids, carbohydrates, and essential vitamins, because it is made from people. Pound for pound, it is probably more vitamin rich in the right proportions than anything else in the world (except for Soylent Orangish Yellow).
[edit] Other foods made from people
- U.S. Democrats' Tasty Liber-Rolls
- Soylent Fetus
- Hamburger Helper
- Human flakes
- Big Macannibal
- Leg McMuffins
- Fetuspeghetti (A chef got confused when his customer said 'feed us speghetti')
- Weiners (not to be confused with Racoon Hot Dogs)
- Racoon Hot Dogs
- Spam
- Big Mac
- Green tea
- Senator Ted Kennedy's Alcoholic Livers
- Amburgurs and Woot Beear
- Richard Simmon's Stringy Muscles.
- Lucky Charms
- Falafel
- Ben & Jerry's Ice "Cream"
- Torgo's Executive Powder
- human rinds
- Fish sticks
- Frog legs
- Hungry Man
[edit] Trivia
- Aficionados often claim that Soylent Green tastes like chicken.
- Soylent Green is disdained by cannibals and is never eaten amongst their tribes. They claim it lacks the "kick" of real, off the bone human flesh.
- It goes REALLY good in Hamburger Helper if ground beef isn't available. Just ask Martha Stewart.
- There's a one in four chance that you are eating a blood relative in every meal consisting of Soylent Green.
[edit] See Also
 |  β’β’β’β’β’Your Guide To Cannibalismβ’β’β’β’β’
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Albert Fish β’ Alfred Packer β’ ALIVE! β’ Baby Eating β’ Baby farming β’ Baby food β’ Baby Meat β’ Baby recipes β’ Cannibal Corpse β’ Cannibalism β’ Cannibals β’ Celebrity Roast β’ Dinner Party β’ Fine Young Cannibals β’ Hannibal Lecter β’ HowTo Cook A Human β’ HowTo Cook Children β’ Human head β’ I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green β’ New Zealand β’ Recipes β’ Soylent Green β’ UnNews Cannibals Stopped β’ UnNews New TV Trend β’ UnNews Soylent Green Defamation β’ Why? Don't Be A Cannibal β’ Why? Eat People β’ Zombies β’ Zombie Types |
