Space Shuttle Atlantis
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Space Shuttle Atlantis is the only NASASASA space shuttle that has never been in space, as it mysteriously sunk into the ocean and was never seen again mabey.
Had it been launched properly it would have exploded anyway as most of them do.
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[edit] History
Atlantis was built in the 1950's to counter the communist threat for cheese. It was going to be a armoured space fighter craft, but that was scrapped as George Lucas owned the rights to shooting guns in space.
With all the excess weight of machine guns and missles removed the shuttle could actual be moved onto it's launch pad, for it's first mission into space. The mission, codenamed Operation DANGER!, was to have been to test the effects of drinking heavily in space. The mission commander was "Old Bill", a wino who hung around NASA offices. The rest of the crew were pulled from all over the United States, mostly found sleeping in bins. On a sidenote Tom Hanks was supposed to accompany them but chickened out and ran away crying like a little bitch.
With only minutes left on the countdown Old Bill got out of the capsule to take a leak. In the next thirteen seconds the entire launch pad disappeared and nobody who was there can give an accurate description of what happened. It was funny for about twenty minutes, like a game of hide and seek, but after that it got boring, and then just fucking annoying and NASA went ape-shit.
Since then Atlantis has apparently been seen all over the World, but mostly by people on drugs. The most recent sighting was in the foothills of Nepal. According to the eye witness, Bille Piper, the shuttle galloped down a slope, let out a massive below, then flew away over the mountain tops.
NASA officials have dismissed this claim and utter bullshit.
[edit] Aftermath
After this incident NASA decided to stop sending alcoholic homeless men into space, and also to sacrifice chickens to the Gods before every mission.
[edit] Features Of Atlantis
The Atlantis had many special features that other shuttles in the fleet do not, including:
- Fully stocked cocktail bar
- Phasers
- Smoking room (on other shuttles smoking must be conducted outside)
- Mini-golf course
- Automated tie rack
- Peach flavoured toilet roll
- A condom machine in the toilet
[edit] Last Radio Transmission
"Atlantis, this is control, what's your status currently?"
"What the XXXX is this XXXXing XXXX. I'm not XXXXing drinking XXXXing... this... what?"
"Atlantis, be advised, take off in T-minus two minutes."
"Take off? What the XXXX are you talking about? XXXXing hell, what the XXXX is going on?"
"Atlantis, this is control, could you repeat your status?"
"I'm going for a piss."
"Atlantis.... come in Atlantis... Atlantis, please respond..."
