Spacebar

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“Whatdoesthatbiglongthingatthebottomofthekeyboarddo?”

~ SomeGuy on Spacebar

“Whoooa!Thislongthingatthebottomofthekeyboard'ssurenice!”

~ Anotherguy on Spacebar

“'”

~ Spacebar on Spacebar

This article is a stub. The article submitter may also have been smoking crack. You can help Uncyclopedia by expanding it.

T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t o f i n t e r g a l a c t i c pub. It'swherethescumofthe galaxycomeand drink.TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseas theRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,th isdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,Intergalac ticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).

EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.

SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard Itislocatednexttothetimebar.

SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.

SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.

TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbe causetheoldoneistoogummedup.

Image:Athut.jpg

SpaceBar:theman,thelegend

[edit] PresidentSpaceBar

SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehab CenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.

TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar

Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionof mildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotab lyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.

SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikensp acen.

[edit] FunfactsaboutSpaceBar

Hisfavoritenumberis42.
Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)

InventedbyWilliamWordsworth

Hejustcan'ttypeproperly.

[edit] Computerspacebar

Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether. Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer. Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping. Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike

uoikj

or

erd5f

Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue. Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.

Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.