Spain II: The Revenge
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| National motto | Praise Norris | |
| National anthem | "The Legend of Young Chuck Norris" | |
| Official languages | Norris Speak, SMS, Kung Fu. | |
| Capital | Chucktown | |
| Largest City | Chucktown | |
| Best City | Chucktown | |
| Culture Capital 2005 in Europe | Chucktown | |
| Only City | Chucktown | |
| Government type | Chucktatorship all the way baby, plus a little anarchy and communism thrown in for good measure | |
| Joined EU | March 1st 1950 | |
| Founded EU | March 1st 1950 | |
| Party | Chuckday Evening (formely known as Saturday evening, changed during the Great Norris Reform of 1956) | |
| Currency | The Chuck (see below), In Spain II:The Revenge they deal in meat, not any of that Euro crap you have heard about. Human heads are also an acceptable currency, with a value of 10 chucks. 1 chuck is enough to get yourself a room and 1 human head will get you a room for 2 nights that also has plumbing. A woman of questionable reputation can also be haggled for in this all-inclusive deal. Also features on Runescape Weapons. | |
| Mascot | Chuck Norris | |
| Mafia | Everything is controlled well by Norris, there is no need for a mafia | |
“ A Spain, the country most obsessed with Chuck Norris. Do not offend them or they will roundhouse kick you in the face”
“ This is MY house”
Spain II: The Revenge was not always its own country as some these days are led to believe. No, it started life as a POW camp owned by Franco but rented by Hitler during WWII, until Franco saw it's potential as being a great place to send all those who opposed him.
Primarily a POW camp, then turned into a country by Franco, a childhood enemy of Chuck Norris. Norris decided one day he wanted his own country to begin his World Domination, so he smashed the gates to the country and killed all the Nazis inside with his bare hands, doing this whilst he was talking on his mobile phone to order a pizza to be delivered for his victory. He threw everyone out who had a bicep diameter of less than 30cm (12 in) and started his own race of superhumans.
The retreat from Spain II: The Revenge was undertaken by the only people who Norris did not kill or keep for his race of super humans the GNFC Royal Monkey Corp. Had Chuck Norris not killed all the Monkey's masters before the Corp could attack they would have been killed as well. The GNFC Royal Monkey Corp started the long dangerous trek through Spain where many Monkey Corpsmen perished at the hands of Siesta Raiders who violated Spain's Siesta Laws.
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[edit] Leadership
It is now owned by Chuck Norris who is all round leader and Big Brother. Propaganda flows like water and he claims to be leader of the world. He runs his own colony of steroid pumped humans who are his personal army and live only to serve.
[edit] Training Regime
In Spain II:The Revenge, they spend all their time lifting weights. They also train their young to beat the world record times for all olympic events, and all that cannot are eaten by Chuck Norris himself, and then turded, packaged and sent to Great Britain. We commonly know this type of person as a "Chav". Spain II: The Revenge has the current world record for the 100 metre sprint, at 4.18597325 seconds held by one of Chuck Norris's many childrens.
[edit] Fashion
In Spain II:The Revenge, it is generally accepted that you wear as little as possible for the majority of the time. Going topless is the clear trend as set by Norris himself. The rule of thumb is that whatever Norris wears, you must wear, so long as it is worse and cheaper.
Many people go for the tattered loin cloth look, but wearing the fur of your latest bearcat kill around your neck is also acceptable.
[edit] Culture
Spain II:The Revenge's capital, Chucktown, was voted culture capital of the year in Europe for 2005. This brought lots of money to the economy and also brought tourism. Many tourists flock to see the worship of a living God.
In Chucktown there are weekly games and ceremonies where they celebrate their wonderful leader through a gladiator tournament. There are 64 entrants and The Colosseum has been moved and reconstructed especially for Spain II:The Revenge's needs. Many tourists flock to watch the games in the only country that they are still legalised. Norris decides who lives and who dies with the thumbs up or the thumbs down signal.
Bullfighting is also legal as it is one of Norris' favourite pastimes. The crowd are on the edge of their seats as the dictator steps down from his box and into the arena to fight 15 bulls with his bare hands.
Spain II:The Revenge is a very communal country. they all eat at the same time and are always in the same frame of mind. There is no diversity in Spain II:The Revenge because Chuck Norris will not allow it.
[edit] Film and TV
When Chuck Norris gave his permission for radio waves containing visual images to be broadcast, the first ever TV series, My Days With Chuck, was broadcast around the world. It was a huge success, achieving ratings higher than 100, which was a major achievement in setting the highest ratings to TV sets in the world ratio, (2:1). This record remains even to this day.
After inventing HollyChuck (later renamed to Hollywood, due to a large and modest gesture from Chuck to his friend Mr Woods), Chuck Norris became the first producer, director and actor, bringing us such classics as An Evening with Chuck, Chuck Gone Mad, Chuck gone Bad, Chuck Goes to HollyChuck, Chuck gone Bad 2: Die Harder, The Life of Chuck and Snakes on a Plane.
Spain II: The Revenge was also the first country to have its own Podcast, available for download from all good websites, the podcast includes native music, stories from the many inhabitants of Spain II: The Revenge and also, of course, all narrated by Chuck himself.
[edit] Food
Norris gives the thumbs up for the high protein diet, therefore everything with a shred of meat on it is considered edible. Many of the dead bulls and gladiators get served up at the evening feast.
Most food served in Spain II:The Revenge has been injected with steroids. The whole country comes together to feast at the same time and one special person may find the chicken leg that has a small metal ball hidden inside it. Whoever brings this to Chuck Norris gets the honour of sharing his table at the next nights feast.
[edit] Military
Seeing as Spain II:The Revenge is ruled by smeone as pwnage as Chuck Norris, you wouldn't think they'd need to have an army of any kind. Thats why you don't live in Spain II:The Revenge. Well, that and your wimpy biceps.
Anyway, as can be imagined, their army was worthy of Chuck Norris. But in his infallible wisdom, he realized that it was lacking of a certain invincibilty that people usually expect. That was quickly remedied by getting the worlds first bearcat cavalry.
The 42nd bearcat cavalry regiment serves as 2/3s of the Chav army, and is estimated to contain 347 of the same bearcat, and therefore is capable of pwning the world eighty-seven times over. As an added bonus, only the buffest riders can survive mounting the bearcats, so it serves as a final test of manliness among the Chavs.
[edit] Tradition and National Holidays
In Spain II:The Revenge, every day is a holiday! Norris believes in doing what you feel, therefore the country has a far left-wing approach and is favoured widely by the anarchists of our time. Everyone in Spain II:The Revenge is a responsible person so work does actually get done.
