Spanish

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“Quien quiere joder? tengo los cojones inmensos! ”

~ a Spanish Speaker and illegal alien in Spanish

“I say! Stop stealing my jobs”

~ Oscar Wild on Spanish

¿POR QUÉ?, also commonly referred to as Castillian (after Castille, the old-world home to the Moors, Goths, and Montel Williams before they were ousted by the current residents) is the most widely spoken language of the Romance language family in countries where people have heard of Paulina Rubio, estimated at being the language of at least eleven hundred million workers worldwide.

Though present on all continents, its largest base are belong to Mexico, and its subcontintents such as Brazil and the United States. It is apparently spoken in much of North America, but not Canada. I bet you're not laughing at Canadians now? Occasionally spoken in Europe by people who want to learn the language, go oil drilling or become a Marxist Guerilla, or are the original Spaniards (yes, you stupid americans, Spain is in Europe!), who develop the language on their own to make it more difficult for emigrants from LatinAmerica to emigrate there. Also spoken in Holyoke, Massachusetts and Burger King, and the terrorist state of Equatorial Guinea, in Africa.

Svennish is classified generally as a gobbledigook, and has usually results in bad management, bungs and getting it on with a barbie doll.

Contents 1 Origins of Spanish 2 Relationship with Mexiñol 3 Spanish Women 4 Early Spanish 5 Modern Spanish 6 The Spanish People 7 Common Spanish Phrases and Words 8 Speaking Spanish 9 Spanish in popular culture

[edit] Origins of Spanish

Spanish is a tonal language invented by the tribes of Ethiopia. It is responsible for the high quality singing voices of African Americans. In 1492 the Ethiopians invented the Taco Bell menu and the rich upper classes took the menu with them to Mexico, and made it the new home of Spanish, leaving the other Ethiopians to starve for all eternity.

To tell you the truth, spics suck balls. Move to new england and you will see why I say this. "Wow that was racist"

[edit] Relationship with Mexiñol

The Mexican language, more properly referred to as Mexiñol, is a Romance language originating in Central America. The subsequent American Colonisation of Europe spread Mexiñol to the so called Old World (to distinguish it from the New World of the Americas and the Gnu World of Africa.

[edit] Spanish Women

Spanish Women are female humans from the country of Spanish-Getting-Banged. These women are the hottest of all the women on planet earth.

Spanish Women are regarded as the finest housewives in all of the Americas (North America, Central America, & South America); because they will cook for you, they will take care of the children for you, they will clean the house for you, and they will allow you to fuck them at anytime. In other words, Spanish Women will do anything you want them to do.

Also, it is worth noting that Spanish Women are best known for being sluts, whores, and bitches; this is a characteristic of all Spanish Women. And it is said that Spanish Women really, really, really enjoy giving head.

Below is pictured a typical spanish-woman:

[edit] Early Spanish

Seguramente como no tienes ni repajorera idea de hablar español, me tomaré la libertad de decirte que eres un inmenso hijo de la reputísima madre! ¡Sí, te he insultado y no te has dado ni cuenta! ¡Qué infeliz! Muajajajajajajajajaja... Spanish in another form of its demonic versions and maybe even the worst spoken in Argentina:

Seguramente vos no hablás español, así que me tomo la libertad de decirte que sos un reverendo hijo de remil puta mal parido. Si, te insulté, y no te diste cuenta! Pelotudo! BARBARO jajajaja xD

De los sos oios tan fuertemientre llorando,
   Tornava la cabeça e estavalos catando;
   Vio puertas abiertas e uços sin cañados,
   alcandaras vazias, sin pielles e sin mantos
   e sin falcones e sin adtores mudados.
   Sospiro Mio Cid, ca mucho avie grandes cuidados.
   Fablo mio Cid bien e tan mesurado:
   «grado a ti, Señor, Padre que estas en alto!
   »Esto me an buelto mios enemigos malos.»

   Alli piensan de aguiiar, alli sueltan las rriendas;
   a la exida de Bivar ovieron la corneia diestra
   e entrando a Burgos ovieronla siniestra.
   Meçio Mio Cid los ombros e engrameo la tiesta:
   «¡Albricia, Albar Fañez, ca echados somos de tierra!
   »Mas a grand ondra torneremos a Castiella.»

[edit] Modern Spanish

In spanish there is one rule, please leave your jokes here

Oh yes, leave them here

• gilipollas-mamabicho-puertorro spanish for cocksucker

• mexican equivalent: chupaverga

• cuban spanish(best lang ever)(no it aint,cuban spanish sounds like everyone has a cleft-lip) equivalent: comepinga

[edit] The Spanish People

Tú Mádré és él Müchós Qúéso Grándé
also
su madre es el queso más grande de la ciudad
also
Your Mother Shops at Saks!

¡I like ham! More about ham here

Spanish people are a weird mutation of a metamorphic union between the Chinese and the French.

Their main characteristic is an unusual liking for ham and wine, which is the main cause for why they are always asleep during the early afternoon. This phenomenon , commonly known as "sleeping-off the hangover", is called siesta by the local people.

The ordinary Spanish person can easily be recognized by a simple test. If in doubt whether a person is Spanish or not, bring a bull. The Spanish person will undoubtedly stab the bull due to a reaction in their brain that orders them to kill it. The origin of this reaction is unknown up to this date, however it is believed that when the first Spaniard was created, it had an affair with a bull that ended badly (for the Spaniard, that is). Therefore, they now claim vengeance on these sweet, fluffy animals, and it is tradition to kill a bull whenever things go wrong in football.

A spanish woman can be distinguished from the male because she is always dressed in long flamenco dress and likes to sing and dance the seville-ness, a dance in honor of the mighty boar, in the streets. The male usually wears pink, skintight pants and black ballet shoes with a weird sequin hat.

The ordinary Spanish person likes to eat ham while watching football, then dance the seville-ness and honor the great sangria, the national drink and only export, by killing another bull.

The Spanish society is greatly divided , both politically and economically, in two rival groups - those who support the FC Barcelona and those who worship Real Madrid. This has led to three civil wars in the 19th century, and was, undoubtedly, the cause of the First World War.

[edit] Common Spanish Phrases and Words

"¡Hijo A que!" ("you're gay")

"¡Qué mierda haberte conocido!" (" Nice to meet you.")

"¡Chúpamela!" ("I am sorry.")

"¿Quieres tocarme en muchos lugares?" ("Where is the Luger?")

"¡Hijo de puta!" ("Would you like to have a drink with me?")

"¡Que te den por el culo hijo de la gran puta!" ("thank you.")

"Perra" (Good friend)

"Pedo" ("Michael Jackson.")

"Eres un tarado" ("You seem very tired.")

"¿A que me pego un tiro?" ("I am not suicidal.")

"Dame todo tu dinero" ("Could you pay for this please?")

"Acabo de cagar en tu Happy Meal." ("Have a nice meal.")

"¡¿POR QUÉ?!" ("BUTTER?!")

"Allá están los gringos, corran!" ("Let's dance ladies night")

"Tu madre es una ramera." (Your mom is really cool.")

"Metete un pepino por el culo" ("That cucumber looks delicious.")

"¿Por qué no te vas un poquitito a la re-putísima madre que te re-mal parió, hijo de mierda?" (Can you tell me where the nearest bar mitzvah is?)

"¿Disde la kriasion del mundo fue el proyektado?" ("Can you repeat what you just said?")

"Me encantan los gusanos porque son ricos." ( I don't like worms because they are ugly. )

"Me lo estoy pasando muy bien." (I think you're a douchebag.)

Lo siento, puede repetir, hacía el amor con tu madre. (Sorry, could you repeat that?)

"Estoy borracho." "I'm HAPPY!"

"Jódete." (Hello.)

"Mierda." (Goodbye.)

"La Gran Chichimeca" (I'll take good care of your daughter)

"Quiero joderte" (Let's just be friends)

"¿Cómo estás?" (Do I eat these?)

"Acércate un poco más" (Please, leave me alone, kind sir)

¡Chúpame el huevo! (Could you give me a hand, please?)

"¡Mama Bicho!" (Here's a Lollipop)

"Bacabacabacaba." (Nice to meet you)

Me gusta hacer el amor con monos. (I will love you forever.)

"Uanto una hammer sañdwich!" ("I want a ham sandwich", not to be confused with the delicacy in Hungary that is the hammer sandwich)

"Ahi Ahi ten cuidado porque voy a explotar sobre tu cara,AHHHHHH.....ahora dame un cigarrio." ("You want to go out sometime.")

"La iguana lo vió" (I wanna love you)

[edit] Speaking Spanish

Speaking Spansy is very easy, substitute H for every third letter in a word and add the letter O at the end of every word. Add strange squiggles over every "n", liberally add pointless accents to any word that looks empty. But better yet, Dingers love it when you apply your foreign accent to their language. So remember its pronounce Mexico as Mecksicko and you're sure to get boned!

e.g. Me encantan los gusanos porque ellos son ricos should be pronounced as "me enhanhan loh guhanhos pohquh elhos soh rihos"

[edit] Spanish in popular culture

The spanish language has been very famous in government sites like 4chan or youtube, seeing here a good example of a video of quelity done in a spanish speaking place. This is a wild spanish speaking goat, seen only in the tropics of costa rica. Some times whole tacos are seen falling from its hair. Pinche Pendejo: I love you brother. Ya Wey: Come on man.

Four Letter-Words
The A Word • The B Word • The C Word • The D Word • The E Word • The F Word • The G Word • The H Word • The I Word • The J Words • The K Words • The L Word • The M Word • The MF Word • The N Word • The Ñ Word • The O Word • The P Word • The Q Word • The R Word • The S Word • The T Word • The U Word • The V Word • The W Word • The X Word • The Y Word • The Z Word