Steven Spielberg
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Steven Spielberg is a Jewish American film director (rezpah in Jewish) who has one of the most significant filmographies found anywhere within today's living directors. He is the bastard (parton mie olde english) son of Alfred Hitchcock and a popcorn saleslady at a drive-in located somewhere now miles beneath New Mexico, believably where Black Mesa used to stand.
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[edit] Biography
As noted before, Spielberg is the unwanted pregnancy of a popcorn saleslady with whom Hitchcock had watched "Birds" with in a drive-thru theater, which back then had been 5" in size, somewhat smaller than Spielberg's handbag is now. For this, the couple had got bored out and began the act of '40s lovemaking, namely with the assistance of Satan (or so they had believed), who was to cover up affairs and one-night stands from god.
In 1981, Spielberg was living in a farm with skizcophrenic parents, who believed to have superpowers, namely the ability of turning cow pee into milk. That did not make any sense, because they are skizcophrenic, so there.
Spielberg experimented filmography by turning over a bucket and hoping that it records anything. With this revolutionary technology, Spielberg recorded his very first video game in 1986. This modern masterpiece has outlived any other film, including "Psycho", especially because it was recorded in a bucket and played back with "imaginaaaaaation".
[edit] Cancer
As noted before, Spielberg had shown extreme signs of sexism, skizcophrenia and jewism. The latter caused him to bring up "Jewish cancer", which could not of been treated as for the money that was involved in the operation. Many people felt uncomfortable talking with him mainly because he made an annoying nostril sound for no apparent reason. The symptoms also became a downfall later in his age.
 of the World (and America) |
| Epic Visionaries |
| Not-So-Epic Visionaries |
| Highly Respected in France |
| Highly Confusing in Japan |
For this, Spielberg decided to make some more filmography, decipting his pain and misfortune. His first film, A film I made for my filmography decipting my pain and misfortune was a success, as it was only supported for 1 cinema, consisting of a big blackboard and chalk, which Spielberg had bought for this film. With 51 minutes, Spielberg had scored a fortune of 2 dollars and 14 cents.
The film spoke of a big badly drawn stick man, whose sole purpose was making badly drawn shoes. He had a badly drawn wife, with whom he made some badly drawn kids. The film was rated R for Really Good, by Spielberg himself. It has also been noted that Spielberg was 7 years old during his big score.
The film earned numerous "Spiellies" for various reasons. A couple of "Stevazzies" were also awarded to award the film's maker for Worst Directing.
[edit] Touched by a Nazi
| In 2007, Spielberg confirmed that he had met a Nazi woman in his early 20s. This Nazi woman had accepted to commit the act of mashed potatoes with Spielberg. Spielberg claimed that he had no idea the woman was a Nazi. Steven's response to the woman claiming that he/she is a Nazi was "But we already commited the act of mashed potatoes!" | “Jew-Nazis are the worst”
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Piddlingly, Spielberg had to marry the anonymous Nazi in 6 seconds, or else all of India would be killed by a nuclear bomb. After marrying the Nazi in just about 189211 seconds, India was destroyed again, but as Spielberg did not live in India, nor bothered about Israel anymore, his hutzpah kept the bomb from being launched.
Together they had made the famous I married a Nazi film series, along with the I married a Nazi: The Animated Series!, on which Steven had less point of view on. In 2001, the couple was broken in half, due to a war in Naziland, destroying Nazis forever. For this, the Nazi woman had began melting and twisting, until she finally dissolved. This is how Spielberg was inspired to create Trainspotting: The Movie!, a comedy film.
Poor Spielberg felt sorry for the little lady, took a few traffic cones and made a picnic on the road literally. The traffic cones were bad socialists, mainly they were rude, calling Spielberg a Fran Descher.
[edit] Cure
Steven's cancer was shortly cured with placing money in his wounds, mouth and ears. Coins were used to clean up cancer cells and other various aches.
Spielberg was inspired to create Painspotting, the sequel to Trainspotting: The Movie!, a drama film.
TRAINSPOTTING 2: PAINSPOTTING -- A poor Siamese couple were thrown out of their country, Siamia, which causes a Jew director to grow Jewish Cancer. Soon, he retires for the cancer, when he gets a cure, making Nazi history. (film lenght: a lifetime!)
[edit] Return to Israel
Spielberg returned to Israel in 2005, when he had discovered that Zulù had taken over the country with various dollars on strings. By luring all Jews to his castle, and hypnotising them with dollar signs, he rules the world. Now it is time for Spielberg to show what he's made of.
The book was good too.
