Split city

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Split was founded ages before first episode of Dynasty was filmed, and as the name says it was the centre of astronautics long before first Sony play station console was developed. It's founder Diocletian, Roman part time emperor was planning to build his country house where he could spend his weekends without concerning himself with things like: starvation of Antarctic troops, lack of water for his cabbages, or invasion of barbarian hordes on his beloved Christian friends living along the border...

[edit] Why here

Although his city Salona was his favorite place, Avars couldn't tolerate incompetent post-office workers, crab smugglers and semi-literate rednecks in the neighbourhood, so it didn't come as a surprise when a modified Borg cube that 2 years ago stranded somewhere in Bosnia appeared on horizon, repainted and ready to strike the impotents! This act of destruction just enlarged Split (Spalato) as population decided to move in the only house in town. We repeat - "The rumor about hidden wine cellars in Diocletian's place had nothing to do with this strange migration" - as was then stated by "Roman World Weekly" magazine.

[edit] Bright future

Croatian tour guide for foreigners, clearly displaying hospitality and kindness Split folk tend to display Years passed and Split along with Croatia (that green spot on the right from Italy that calls itself a country) was conquered more than dozen times and finally emerged as independentorious under the rule of great Serbia (another green spot, a little more to the right, and a little bit bigger than the last one, but getting smaller every year). There it was proudly exploited until the war for independence where it was crippled (apparently it's tourism, economy, politics, people,alcohol industry, and donkey population suffered). Therefore the next president decided to move in a few donkeys to improve the morale of Split's citizens... [edit] Ethnic problems Today this city counts around 150 000 people inside the town and suburbian areas, 200 000 during elections, and 250 000 during summer holydays (gubmint) denies the third number - but even tourists wonder why). Its population is consisted of these people: 99% regular pot smokers ili travari 25% regular drunks 20% illegal workers 14% legal workers 12% casual cocaine consumers 11% corrupted politicians 9% politicians 5% whores 54% bosnians the remaining 0% are either kitten-induced illusions or just here to educate themselves [edit] See Also Banana split Split personality "This article or section should be split into Banana and split, because that will make it easier to surround the enemy, or something like that."             ~ Sun-Tzu