Sport
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- This article is of the popular Melbournian past time, basketball. For the British version of the same definition, see something we'll never be good at.
“Only fags scorn the holy art of sports. Dig it, I got an excuse at least, I'm getting on with Chuck! Oh Yeah!”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Anals of sport
A higher sport.
Going back thousands of years through the anals of time (LOL), man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."
[[Image:Nba3.jpg|thumb|left|The official logo of the NBA.
Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.
Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each over, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxin monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job.
It is a known fact that the only sure fire way to succeed in school is to be good at a sport. If you are on a varsity team, you could theoretically set the school on fire and still be rewarded with As.
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[edit] Sports and Masculinity
You don't like sports? What are you, some kind of fag? I bet you are, cum-guzzling homo.
i love sports!!
Sport may be described as, fair, difficult, exciting, perhaps dangerous pursuit of a wild animal, ball, piece of rubber, ect. Who has the odds in its favour, whose courage, strength, speed or cunning is more or less a match for, or superior to our own.
SPORTS!
the hardest sport to play is prashbi wrestling the aim is not to get laid on by the prashbi you have to push it out of the ring this usaly takes 10,000,000 to 50,000,000,000 trys to do it,the world record for push a prashbi out is only 67,594 go's!!!!! but later died of heart attack because it saw its ugly butt!!!.
Strangely though wrestlers enjoy their sport because it gives them an oppurtunity to hug a sweaty hot guy.
[edit] Popular real sports
- Alicia Silverstone
- Curling
- Blocky
- Blitzball
- Ball
- Cricket
- Hobo Juggling
- Donkey basketball
- Extreme suicide diving
- Hockey
- crapping in a bucket from a very high building
- Softball
- War
- Fraccal Sacks
- Wall ball
- Goose Hockey
- Boxing kangaroos
- Sex (see S sports below)
- Shopping (see S sports below)
- Sleeping (see S sports below)
- Masterbating
- Ultimate Foosball
- Halo
- Kickball
- Football (American football for inbred europeans)
[edit] Popular pansy, sissy-boy sports
[edit] S sports
The last three sports on the list of popular real sports above are often referred to as the “S sports” (sex, sleeping and shopping). A person who can spend his or her life improving their skills in these sports is said to have a “Perfect Life”.
Recently it has been noticed that by adding a daily routine of another S sports – “Soccer Watching” (of course watching, who can run for an hour and a half? who can run for a minute and a half? [with no sale at sight that is]) – one can reach the level of “Super Perfect Life”. A similar result has been spotted with individuals that added the S sport of “Spaing” to their daily routine.
Scientist are now looking for candidates that will take part of an experiment that will see if by practicing the 5 S sports (sex, sleeping, shopping, soccer watching and spaing) one can get to the level of “Super Super Extra Super Perfect Life” or maybe by adding so many sports to a person’s life one would simply become overwhelmed and die.
