Sprite
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“The person who created it was truly a genius. Or an idiot, I haven't decided.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Sprite
“Sprite? No I think that Pepsi is the next generation”
~ Wayne on Sprite
Sprite is a type of fizzy drink made from lemons, limes, carrots, kumquats, mangos, processed chalk, and crushed anal-beads. It is very similar to 7up, which caused the biggest court case of the past twelve millenia, with Gary Coleman being the judge. Many people think that Sprite is just regular lemonade. Those people are wrong. Very wrong. Sickeningly wrong. Ugh, those wrong people...
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[edit] Controversies
It is believed that Sprite is actually made from the blood of ugly little Sprites mixed with 7-Up and 7-Down. This is not the case. There is in fact, no 7-Up or 7-Down in the drink.
[edit] In Pop Culture
- A can of Sprite is featured in a painting by Andy Warhol, although it is commonly believed to be a can of soup.
- The world's most famous rock song, Stairway to Heaven, contains many subliminal messages advertising Sprite. In fact, the song was originally called Spriteway to Spriteland.
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[edit] Popularity of Sprite
Sprite is considered the most popular drink in the UK. If anyone tells you it's Coca-Cola or anything stupid like that, they're lying to you. Lying badly. Lying badly and maliciously. With intent to wound.
[edit] A type of goblin?
A Sprite is not a type of fucking goblin no matter what some winsdor knot wearing, "going skiing at the weekend with mummy and daddy, you really should come", ex-public school, grand-dad owns half of hampshire, moutain boarding, "Tower Hamlets is so up and coming it's really street don't you know", arse face, advertising agency little tosser may try to tell you (becuase it's just so viral you know). A Sprite is a fucking air elemenatal (assuming for the moment they actually exist) whilst a goblin is a earth elemental. And if any post-modern, ironic sucker of Satan's cock tells you otherwise you have my full permision to puch their smug little lights out.
[edit] The Chemistry of Sprite
individual bottles of sprite, or 3 cans ionically bonded together may form a Sprite (the pixie kind). Sprites have a +2 charge and are notorious for having a lot of leg hair and crappy computers. Sprites tend to steal electrons, and use the resulting matter to create [grues].
Sprites contain sugar molecules and are friendly. They can become quite attached to their friends and acquaintances, often through the use of duct tape, ginormous pins, and/or various hello kitty accessories.
They are also highly unstable and may spontaneously combust if placed in contact with other reactive compounds such as Americans, or oxygen.
The chemical formula for a sprite is [something we dont know]C6H1206H20U. It has the unique property of possessing multi-coloured glossy electrons in the shape of a potato.
