Sputnik

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The thing that goes 'beep'.

“Our first space sperm!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sputnik

Sputnik was a silver grapefruit that the Soviet Union catapulted into outer space in 1830. The United States was very afraid of silver grapefuit proliferation in space, so they hired Hollywood to land on the moon. Lyndon Johnson was convinced that with enough silver spheres the Communists could control the weather and initiate their "Global Warming" plot along with stealing our precious bodily fluids. After people ingnored Johnson and Global warming happened they all screamed "WE SHOULD HAVE LISTENED!" Sputnik was last seen hoovering over Norway and is believed to have crashed somewhere in the hostile environment there. Later reports describe a mystic sect worshiping Sputnik, but due to armed resistance, Russian intelligence is afraid to enter and investigate. So they hired a King kongs sons fathers mothers fathers brothers roommate. He went into the woods and was torn apart by angry savages who wanted xbox 360s.

Sputnik was named after the sound it made, "Sputniksputniksputniksputniksputniksputniksputnik". It took the gas-powered one-piston motor, 25 hours to carry the small load to space. Howdy-Doody was livid when he caught wind that the Russians had just beaten the Americans to Space, coining his famous line, "Damnit! Who am I paying around here??!!"

Sputnik reproduces by mitosis, and little grapefruits sometimes enter the atmosphere and smash into stage performers with questionable talent. How the fruitlings identify bad talent has so far escaped scientists, but they think it has to do with performer appearances at parties of washed-up teen Disney stars.