Spies

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“Well, we're not Russian spies, that's for sure!”

~ Russian spies

Spies are pointy-nosed men dressed either in black or white (by a strict code), run around in houses killing spies dressed in their opposite colours with clever traps.

Most common traps:

• Bombs
• Trapdoors
• Electrocution
• Guns
• Nuclear Soviet Attack Dogs
• electric sappers

But those spies are only a comic. These are the real spies:

By definition Spies work for agencies which are run by suits with people in them. These organisations are named after 3-unit combinations of randomly selected letters and numbers, such as the CIA (Common ignorance agency), MI6 (Mexican Imps of nineteen SIXty) and the ZNP (Fish for independent liberation). The spies usually do one of the following, in rank from most exciting to least exciting:

• Finding out non-secret information through a country's local media
• Blowing up villain's bases
• Killing people, usually terrorists or communists
• Asplode
• Preventing-Nuclear Explosions-on-your homeland-caused-by-tactical-nuke-test-missiles-sabotaged and-aimed-at-your-capital-city-by-project-directors-secretly-working-for-terrorists-or-an-enemy

The most effective agency by far is the T8F. Proof of their brilliance is that no-one has ever heard of Arnold P. Ludvig, one of their most top secret scientists. If you see a team of men ready to brainwash you in a van labeled T8F BRAINWASH SQUAD don't be surprised.

Brain washing is the international hobby of spies. They often, for sport, kidnap people, take them to secret locations, brainwash them, then brainwash them again so they don't know they've been brainwashed, then brainwash them again so they don't know they've been brainwashed, then brainwash them again so they don't know they've been brainwashed, then brainwash them again so they don't know they've been brainwashed, etc.

Contents 1 Famous Spy Hereos 2 Famous Spy Villians, Enemy Communist Spies, and Terrorists 3 Sucessful Spy Agencies 4 Unsucessful Spy Agencies 5 The Gary Powers Incident 6 See also

[edit] Famous Spy Hereos

• Dr. No
• Hugo Drax
• 007
• 00.07
• 00 and one seventh
• .007

[edit] Famous Spy Villians, Enemy Communist Spies, and Terrorists

• James Bond
• Bames Jond
• M
• N
• Coldfinger
• Goldfinger
• Oldfinger
• Fishfinger
• Bill Gates
• Gill Bates
• Asplode
• Zove Mig
• Erin Esurance

[edit] Sucessful Spy Agencies

• CIA (Crazy Idiots Are people too)

• BSIS (Bullcrap Stupid Idiot Service)

• BBC 1 ("Base Building Currently 1" which is translated as "1 person is currently building your base". It was supersceded by PLCC, "Power Low ;Construction Complete")

[edit] Unsucessful Spy Agencies

• CIA (Centrally Intelligent super-Agents)

• BSIS II (British Smart Intelligent Service)

• CAT LOVER ('E'RROR: There is no accurate, coherent breifing for this very lousy mission.)

[edit] The Gary Powers Incident

One day, CIA agent Gary Powers flying a YouTube spyplane was mistaken for a passenger plane that was mistaken for another spy plane was shot down ower Soviet airspace. The U.S. government, unable to keep track of its own aircraft (or were they...), claimed that the airplane was a UFO (urban flying ornament).

The USSR believed it until they found cameras, randomly beeping stuff, and recon stuff inside. Then US was forced to confess. Now when the USA spies on Russia, they use the GAP(Gorillas Are Pedestrians)spy satellites. Gary Powers was sentences to two weeks in a Soviet prison until a spy under a false name caught by a ten-year-old Neo-American jimmy named Newspaper Boy was traded for him.

[edit] See also

• CIA
• KGB
• KFC
• James Bond
• Women spies
• RSSU ("Really Stupid Suicide, You", a cult that quickly died out due to the fact they were committing suicide before they brainwashed people into joining, thus being more of a lemon cult than a spy cult.)