St. Stephen's College, Delhi
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“It's St. Steven's and not St. Stephens”
~ Free Will on College
“Their Free Will has ruined the name of this prestigious institution. It is Stephen's and not Steven's”
~ Thamps on College and it's Free Will
“Transparency,Credibility and More variety in the cafe menu.”
~ SUS President Manifesto on Promises
St. Stephen's College, Delhi is a collection of India's most pretentious souls studying courses they have no interest in whatsoever, simply because they were not good enough to study the course they wanted to.
Among a list of its notable losses, is its loss to the F-word
Contents |
[edit] Location
Physically, the University of Delhi.
Mentally, the University of Cambridge.
[edit] History
Born on February 1, 1881, due to the efforts of the Cambridge Brotherhood, St. Stephen's history rivals that of the Indian National Congress and The Times of India, the two other most august institutions in India. In fact, the college's older than the Congress and has had the distinction of producing heads of states of three different countries: Dr. Fakhruddin Ali Ahmed of India, Gen. Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq of Pakistan, and Salim Ahmed Salim of Tanzania and the OAU.
Before the heads of states, there was C.F. Andrews, the one true missionary stud if there ever was one. He started the cricket team, the football team, the debating team, created an atmosphere which attracted the best of students and teachers, made sure that an Anglican institution got an Indian principal, etc. Since C.F. Andrews did all that there could be done, no other Professor, student or alumni has done anything which will make any difference. Hence, the cafe menu remains the same.
The wikipedia article has the history divided into 'Influence before Independence' and 'Influence after Independence'. A Stephanian must have written the entry. However, all of it is true.
Before independence, Rabindranath Tagore did write parts of his Gitanjali in Stephen's. After independence, the premiere of Bobby in Delhi was held in the college auditorium. However, the most notable event was the shooting of Himalayaputra, the debut vehicle for Akshay Khanna.
[edit] Admissions
The College has the strictest of admission procedures. It has the highest cutoffs for its courses in the nation, coupled with a grilling interview that ensure only the brightest of minds are admitted to the institution. However, approximately 98.73843289472% of Stephenians used means other than those stated above.They are a class of hypocrites who'll go to any extent to boast about their stupid 'different' tag.St. Stephen's is an institute which functions merely on it's goodwill and has no real infrastructure or facilities for the students to help them in their development. There are no hostels in this college although the college does provides accommodation to outstation students and a few parasites. Because Stepahnians feel they are different from the rest their hostels are called "Residence". The Residence, not the hostel, is all crap and the toilets stink and leak. The mess food is unhygeinically hygenic.The teachers are the least helpful and the last principal,Anil Wilson was a dumbass with no managerial abilities. He made the college a laughing stock with his highly lousy decisions.My advice to those seeking admission in this f**king college is to stay away or risk admission on your own peril.
[edit] Alumni
- Osama bin Laden's secretary
- The dog next door
- Some Indian who almost did not become the UN Seceratary General
- My Father, Grandfather ect.
[edit] Cafe
In accordance with Stephenian tradition, the name "canteen" may not be adopted for the common eating place, as that is precisely the term any normal college would use. Instead Stephenians are brainwashed into believing they dine at a more refined location known as the cafe. They also take pride in eating dishes, the ingredients and pronunciations of which are unknown to them.
The menu includes:
- Coq au vin
- Steak au poivre
- Duck a'l orange
- Saveur
- Cordon bleu
- Haricots verts
- Mirepoix
- Foie gras
- Vichysoisse
- Bruschetta
- Paella
- Maggi
[edit] Residence
Of course, Stephanians think too much of their own clan to stay in commonplace hostels, what they need is a "residence", or "Rez" as it is more commonly known. Although the official deadline for entry into the Residence is 10pm, the glorified residents may make use of the back door at a bribe of Rs. 10. Notice how the back door continues to remain the central point of life at St. Stephen's.
[edit] Quotes
“My driver studied there”
“Those who park will play.”
~ Principal Willie on Students sitting around the main corridor
“Yeah right”
~ Tomato Ketchup on being stood up since 1965
“Oh God! Exodus”
~ Stephanian on the huge crowd which just boarded the U-Special and went away
“'Ek sau dus' nahin, 'ek sau gyaarah' the”
~ Hinduite on being factually correct
“Ha! Ha!”
~ Oscar Wilde on the above-mentioned joke
“More chairs in the canteen”
~ Hinduite on Stephens Cafe
“Ek Sau Gyaarah the”
~ Hinduites on not getting it
“It's Steven's, not Stephen's”
~ Willie on leaving college
“Hastalavista from Stephen's”
~ The Thump on Willie
“Serve em a show-cause”
~ Thamps on Hinduites
[edit] External links
- http://www.ststephens.edu (Official website)
- http://ase.tufts.edu/chemistry/kumar/ssc/html/sschis.html (History of "the college").
- http://www.ststephens.edu/StStephens/httpdocs/history/glimpses.htm (Glimpses of St. Stephen's)
