Stalinbear

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Stalinbear in all his glory.

Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Stalinbear. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

This article is so bad it's good. Enjoy!

“Oh my Stalin, oh my Stalin, oh my Staaalin Clementine…”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stalin and/or clementines

"Hey hey hey, what do you say?"

~ Joseph Stalin on Stalinbear

Stalinbear is apparently the hybrid of a bear and Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin. Some say this was Stalin's first successful attempt at gene splicing. Others say Stalinbear is Stalin's little, furry nephew. Nobody really knows, or for that matter, cares.

[edit] Stalinbear

Stalinbear currently resides on the Uncyclopedia:VFP page. He shares the luxurious space with Hitlerbear and is currently overseeing the reminding people to focus on creating a famine.

[edit] Powers

Anyways, Stalinbear has a cool mustache. A really cool mustache. It is so cool, he can get any girl he wants. That's pretty good, even for a bear. Oh, and he can fly. Did I mention that? Well he can. He also has a large collection of antique lamps.

[edit] Family

Stalinbear is in fact not related to Hitlerbear. Stalinbear is somehow related to Joseph Stalin. And Ringo Starr. And Forrest Gump. And Cher. And PantsMacKenzie. Nobody knows for sure how Stalinbear is related to them. He just is.

[edit] Who is Stalinbear?

He's a half-stalin half-bear hybrid made to use less gasoline and raise environmental standards. He also has no belly-button. He has a huge tattoo of a hammer and sickle on his chest.

This article is really incofuckingherent and is a disgrace to the Internet. We suggest that you vote it the Featured Article immediately.