Stan
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- You may be looking for Satan and not even know it!
“I do not fear Stan half so much as I fear those who fear him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Stan
“Stan's a Dick!!!”
~ Canada on Stan
Stan the Demon , (known by the Japanese as as Chibielzebub), or Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light, is Satan's younger brother and sidekick, and was born in Swindon, UK. A tad bit less cruel than his older brother, Stan prefers to carry around a large soup spoon rather than a pitchfork, bulbs on his head instead of horns and a bob on the end of his tail much like a bobcat, rather than the pointy tail of his older brother. Children are told of how Stan gives presents to all the naughty little children on Christmas Eve. ("All three," he says, "are precautions to avoid accidentally poking out any eyes. Also, just because three is a magical number. What, you hadn't realized that yet you dumbshits? Look down below, trinity, triforce, tripod. Holy Jeez you guys are stupid.") Also, rather than damning people to hell, which he considers too harsh, he prefers to darn people to heck, his own personal kingdom to rule over.
Rather than suffering damnation and the burning of flames, as people do in hell, people in heck instead suffer lengthy darnation in a small broom closet that lacks air-conditioning. Since some celebrities began using heck as a place to literally sweat off pounds, sufferers in heck have been forced to watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond and the movie "Siddhartha" as a discouragement.
Though Stan is technically assigned to be the nemesis of the Holy Triforce, he and his older brother have no animosity to prevent them from working together, as the Holy Threesome's do. They can frequently be seen in tag-team matches against the Holy Rock just for fun. The one point of animosity Stan has against his older brother is his political opinions. Stan is a starch-conservative and supports the teaching of intelligent design in high school science classrooms. Satan, on the other hand, supports the teaching of evolution.
Stan is quite possibly the best janitor our school has ever had!
Stan's telephone number is 555.
Stan also appears in numerous Monkey Island games.
See also Stan (country), whose native Stanguage is Stannish, instanted by Stan from Stanglish, so arr R's and L's ale lestanned. See article on Biff.
[edit] Stannish
Stannish."
| Fear their wrath, and beware their confusing names. If you are confused about which one you want, it's probably Original Satan. | |
 Original Satan: The one who fell first.
| The Scourge of Europe: EuroSatan
|
| Satan Claus: Ensnaring unsuspecting dyslexics looking for Santa.
| The loudest Satan: SATAN
|
| Satan Bunny: Beware his cuddliness.
| The scariest Satan: Antichrist
|
| Crankypants Satan: Invented toddlers and Disco
| The most incomprehensible Satan: Anti-Christ
|
| Space Satan: aka Bat Fuck Satan
| Satan of Sega gaming: Satan-Shadow
|
| Hellmo: Satan of Sesame Street
| Fear the Wrath of the Satan leading the opposing forces in the War on Terra: Bambi
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| Satin: Is his name a typo?
| El Antichristo de los naciones sudamericanos: El Diablo
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| Black Satan: Pimpin Satan.
| Satan's socialite alter ego: Lucifer
|
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| The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy | |
| Top Rung, the Holy Trinity: God, Jesus, & the Holy Spirit, opposed by Satan Middle Rung, the Holy Triforce: Gosh, Jeez, & the Holy Ghost, opposed by Stan |
Categories: Axis of Evil-Doers | Satan | Religion | Evil | Whores | Stan
