Stan Rice

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Stan Rice is the twin brother, husband and co-author of several books with the enfamed Anne Rice. Though his true identity has never been revealed, it can be inferred by all of his published material that not only is he a brain-eating alien, but he seeks the destruction of poetry as a whole.

Stan claims that his poetry is free form, but he actually adheres to a strict literary code: "The Literary Code of Being Fucking Retarded" (often shortened to the LCBFR). It is theorized that the reason any and all people across the globe think of poetry as being childish and stupid is because they have read one of his poems.

In the ancient holy texts written by Muhammed R'lyeh Cthulhu (AKA the Cthuslim's most holiest of prophets) if one were to read every one of Stan Rice's poems either aloud or "in their head" the universe will collapse in on itself and during this catastrophic event, the dark beings beyond the stars will utter humorous flatulent noises of joy. This scientifically sound and proven fact shows that even his half-twin sister, wife and co-author, Anne Rice, has not read every poem he has written. It is further theorized that she has never even read the first one, as she retains all of her major senses.

In the inscrutible religious texts of Poppy Z. Brite, it is detailed how Stan was able to convince such an enfamed, religious, and exceptional artist of the pen to include such horrible, horrific, and undyingly heretical "poetry" in her writings. In this text, Z. states that through use of twin-empowered alien technology, Stan was able to labotomize certain parts of her brain (the actual texts go into gory, sensual detail) and then rebotomize those bits with pieces of his phallus. Robert E. Lee's Diagnostic of Alien Anatomy shows us that all brain functions in aliens occur and originate from their phallus. Thus, with pieces of his own "brain" embedded permanently within hers, he was barely able to sway her to include such poetical blasphemies in her text, barely.

[edit] Examples of Poetry written and performed by Stan Cataclysm Rice

WARNING: Reading the following passages will likely cause you to lose at least one major sense -at random. AND you may/will become irreparably retarded. We also promise that these examples are nowhere near as retarded and horrible as his published material.

[edit] My Cell Phone

A dog plays with a ball
Rainy days
Man, hit by school bus
I drool
My cat has fuzzy wuzzy hair
I am a blatant homosexualiliac

[edit] Times Knew Romaine

I play a CD in the forest
With a monkey's bottom
I lost my keys
I must find the local fire marshal
Pees are green
And purple

(If you think these are abso-fucking-lutly random, try reading his published material)

Submissions of further material is encouraged, but please do not submit them all, for the farting of the cataclysm shall surely be farted in a trumpet-like fashion if you are to do so.

[edit] Famous Sayings by Stan C. Rice

“I'm not famous, but my wife is. That counts.”

~ Stan Rice on his wife

“Yes, my poetry has been described by all readers as both 'unnecessary in Anne's writings', 'decreasing the value of Anne's work', and 'a deplorable treason against poets universewide'. I take that as a compliment.”

~ Stan Rice on something