Star

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“We're all in the stars, but some of us are looking at the gutter.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stars

A star is a fake llight that tupid wags pput there such as the moon or anti-aircraft fire. Stars are used for astronomy by scientists and astrology by Wiccans, hippies and other New Age freaks.

1 Types of Stars
2 How Stars are Created
3 What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars
4 Groups of Stars
5 See Also

[edit] Types of Stars

The great astronomer, Professor Samuel L. Jackson of the University of Whoopass identified 12 principal types of stars.

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Good Stars - These stars contain vast amounts of hydrogen, thus causing their commitment to moral rectitude.
Evil Stars - Alas, these stars contain high levels of helium and tungsten, causing them to forever turn their metaphorical backs upon the Lord.
Battle Stars - Enemies of the terrible Cylons. See Death Star.
Death Star - a metal star prone to x wing attacks (Hard to get insurance, but great for showing off to girls with).
Prettiest Star - A song by David Bowie which appears on the album Aladin Sane.
The Radio Star - Brutally killed by Video in 1981. Video was araigned in Los Angeles District court, Feb 8th 1982. Plead guilty and received a twenty year sentence. Parole appeal denied in 1994. Released 2001. currently resides with common law wife in Deer Scrotum, Missouri.
Unlucky Star - Stars of this type are typically small, hot, green to blue in colour, and often spend hours trying to chat up a girl, only to discover that their flies are open and they have something stuck between their teeth.
Warp Star - The type of star Kirby rides as he rides through dream land busting up all the baddies. It usually comes in regular star form, and can go hecka fast.
Homestar - Pom Pom's best friend.
Starscream - A star that, oddly enough, has the same voice as Cobra Commander.
OnStar - A type of star commonly used for navigation and for the production of really dull commercials.
Lonely Rolling Star - A song in the game Katamari Damacy. It makes Us hungry.
Starbucks - A star found on earth that is less hot thus fit for the usage of normal human beings for sosial lifestyles and also coffee. Tastes a bit like shite.

[edit] How Stars are Created

Stars are known to come in four different arrangements: Single, Binary, Trinary, and Club. An additional arrangement, Spade, is theorized but not yet evidenced.

Stars are created when someone, usually the Prince of All Cosmos or his cousins, rolls a big enough Katamari to achieve the chemical reaction needed for the King of All Cosmos to throw the Katamari up into the sky ablaze. This Katamari will soon burn into a star. How big must this Katamari be? No one knows, although the minimum size seems to be 10cm in diameter, and the maximum upwards of eight hundred meters in diameter. Really, it all depends on the mood of the King of All Cosmos and if he wishes to have a small star or a big one. But if We had made the star regardless, We would make it much bigger.

[edit] What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars

Write to your congressperson or member of parliament, demanding an immediate and unfeasibly large increase to the stellar erradication budget. They will immediately discard the letter, putting it into the pile of objects to be transformed into stars.

Alternately, just get the King of All Cosmos drunk or high, and the problem should take care of itself.

[edit] Groups of Stars

Some stars are by themselves. They are very lonely and usually only do what single individuals do. A number have one partner, and they can have fun together. Some are lucky enough to have two or three partners and exist in a threesome or foursome system. Those have the most fun, but sometimes one of the stars gets mad and shoots the other stars with a big space gun.