Star Trek:Series Guide
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Over the 300 year span of the entire canon of Star Trek there have been a few episodes of note:
[edit] Star Trek
- The Cage - pilot episode. Captian Christopher Pike and his science officer Spock are captured by alien head-throbbers
- Space Nazis. Kirk et al beam down to a planet where everyone and everything is Nazi. They enjoy a beer and some sausage whilst trying to ignore the death camps.
- The Trouble With Toupees. Someone on the Enterprise is suspected of wearing a syrup. Interferring Comodore Pet is brought on board and the poking-with-a-stick begins.
- The Dragon in the Dark. On the mining colony Janus 6, the miners are being menaced by a fire-breathing dragon. Spock discovers it to be Tabitha from Zoologist Gerald Durrell's fantasy book "The Talking Parcel", hiding away so the evil cockatrices don't steal her eggs again.
- Spock's Bone. Spock gets a bone and needs to get to his home planet to have it hit with a wooden spoon by the priestess. However, before they get to Vulcan, the rest of the crew start sporting bones. Uhura eventually has to administer a mass spoon beat-down. Pikachu makes a cameo appearance in this episode.
[edit] Star Trek: The Animated Series
- Since the series was such a miserable failure that it is not even of note, none of the episodes are of note either.
- Except the one where James T. Kirk didn't appear. That was just strange.
[edit] Star Trek: The Next Generation
- Any episode that did not feature the Counselor, unless she was in proper Star Fleet uniform.
- The episode where Captain Picard and Data make out after being tricked by Q.
- The episode where Riker and Troi have sex, but don't tell anyone about it. (This isn't the first time!)
- In the episode Foreskin of Evil, Picard takes it like a man when Tasha Yar gives to him with a Ferengi strap-on.
- To atone for her sins in the previous episode, Lt. Yar is "killed off" by an evil creature composed of a galactic bong resin that had been carelessly discarded by another species.
[edit] Star Trek: Deep Space Six Nine
This series was based on Australian soap operas.
- Episodes with Klingon porn in them were good; well worth setting the VCR for.
- There was an episode that entirely took place in a holosuite sex program.
- There was a contining episode that had sex with itself over and over in a holosuite sex program. Wesley Crusher had locked it in a loop pattern buffer. The program burned itself out as Wesley was simultaneously vomited out in a sea of raped tribbles and Ferengi ejaculate.
- Season Finale: As a result of the previous continuing episode, Wesley had created a glory hole rift in the space-time continuum where Federation space was continually violated. This episode was also the pilot episode of an entirely new series.
[edit] Star Trek: Enterprises Pty Ltd
- This popular reality series featured host Donald Trump, who coined the phrase "You're assimilated".
[edit] Star Trek: Voyager
- The Caretaker - pilot episode. A galactic janitor sweeps the entire grew of Voyager into the delta quadrant.
- Any episode that involved a combination of Seven of Nine, the Captain Janeway or Kes drinking from the furry cup. There were a few episodes where all three were at it.
- In the episode Internal Flux, Neelix prepares a funky cheese in the back of the kitchen that gives the ship's bio-neural gel packs a nasty yeast infection. Tuvok trys to purge the infestation using a Klingon power tool that he finds in engineering. The next day Kes examines Lt. Torres in sick bay for strangely inflamed lesions.
[edit] Star Trek: The Empire Strikes Back
- The crew of the Enterprise ride wild Klingons about an icy landscape until their toes get frostbite and fall off.
[edit] Star Trek: Enterprise
- There were no notable episodes in the whole four seasons of this show.
- Having gone so far ahead into the future in all the previous series, there was nothing left to do but go backward. They brought in this guy from another show which also sucked. All this guy did was grumble about the rattle in the deck plating and play with his dog. At this point in the space-time continuum, marriage with animals was an acceptable practice. The warp engines were so pitifully slow that the ship only traveled the distance that Kirk covered in one episode of Scotty farting into the warp core. After an unsuccessful season or two, the producers decided it would be in the best interest of the show to create a war to boost ratings, but by that time it was too late and even 500 foot Jesus couldn't have saved it.
[edit] Star Trek: Return of the Khan
- The one where Scotty eats the raw fish is pretty tasty
[edit] Star Trek: The Vagina Monologues
- Captain Picard finds that James T. Kirk (who was presumed dead) has actually been caught up in a mysterious belt where time has stopped. Kirk had been babbling to himself in a Shatneresque monologue about his sexual conquests and his "space junk" for nearly a century. Picard begs Kirk to come back and help him in the future. Kirk agrees only after they both stay to have sex with the green woman for an additional year. That year, turns, into, another decade, because Kirk, can't, stop, talking, about her, and her wonderful attributes.
