Starre job
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Starre Job (Herkimer!) is the wildly popular Heavy Metal band consisting of two members: Wicked Starre (on flaming drum set) and his cat Mad Cat (on flaming guitar). Starre Job is currently wanted on charges of graverobbery and the theft of several beehives. Despite having a bounty of sixty billion and one double dollars (barely topping Vash the Stampede), Starre Job keeps a very public lifestyle and holds at least one concert every other week, which are often very reckless and destructive.
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[edit] Starre Job - a history of frickin' sweet
[edit] The Concerts
Throughout the history of the band, several of their concerts have really stood out. If not in the amount of property damage caused, or how many gallons of crude oil they dumped directly on a baby seal, then by the amount of fans that die when something goes horribly wrong (or according to plan).
[edit] Starre Job Live at Bank Robbery
A concert held to perform their new hit single "When the Ship hits the Van", which sold more than 6,472,951,555 copies worldwide, meaning that everyone on the earth at least bought one. Held at one of several banks across the nation, Starre Job played while robbing the bank of all its money and safety deposit boxes.
[edit] Starre Job Shackled to a Bomb Tour
This concert featured both members of Starre Job handcuffed to an enormous thermonuclear bomb rigged to detonate at the very end of the song "Helen Keller (What a Bitch)". Unfortunately, local bomb squads were always dispatched to the scene and disarmed the bomb before its explosion. All but two of the first concert's attendees had fled when the song entered its final minute, leaving only them and the bomb squad assigned to the task to hear what has been described as "the sweetest guitar solo ever" by all present.
[edit] Starre Job Retchfest Tour
Featuring Brundlefly (from the movie The Fly) on the Pukelele, This tour was banned in several states and outlawed by the department of health for just being too filthy. The tour ended prematurely when Brundlefly tried to combine his physical makeup with that of his girlfriend and unborn son and was shot in the head with a shotgun.
[edit] Other interesting bits of Starre Job History
- Although the theme of many of their tours are not as impressive as those stated above, events at various stops are noteworthy.
- Several beef carcasses were dropped into a wood chipper and pointed at the crowd during a concert held at St. Paul, Minnesota.
- The Lincoln Monument was destroyed during one concert at Washington DC. Its head was replaced by a flaming dumpster, a tribute to the popular sitcom Friends.
- After their stage made entirely of used, rusty razor blades collapsed on them, Starre Job was rumored to be dead. They were found unharmed at the bottom of the wreckage, playing bloody knuckles.
- A man in the audience threw a dead Ozzy Osbourne on stage, and a man in a bat suit bit the corpse's head off. At the same concert, Wicked Starre and Mad Cat vomited up a swarm of live bees.
- Dateline features a special on the live cobras handed out at a Starre Job concert, and how the resulting disaster could have been prevented.
- A crazed Starre Job fan gets up on stage and heaves a lumber mill saw into the crowd, killing two and severely injuring 24 people.
- Starre Job concert inadvertently awakens the dormant volcano of Mt. Fuji.
- Starre Job kidnaps major political figure. (See links)
[edit] Starre Job Fun Facts
- Wicked Starre is rumored to be the brother of Mofuko, who is famous for stealing O.J. Simpson's birthmark.
- Starre Job is known to visit the houses of known non-fans and leave terribly ugly jack-o-lanterns.
- Starre Job's latest album, "Shrapnel" has been delayed due trouble with a small explosive charge in the CD case rigged to shatter the CD and send its fragments into the owners face when opened for the first time.
- Starre Job has offered to do benefit concerts for many charities, but all of them have declined.
- Mad Cat hates the word "Trolley".
- Starre Job is not, as this page indicated for roughly fifteen seconds via an unauthorized redirect, a "nigger", or some sort of "niggers". The only black in him is his soul. This is roughly the same color as the bastard's eye who did that shit. That is just a foul play. A foul play by a most atrocious type of person.
