Star
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Star - a foolish name of a foolish girl that begets nothing but foolishness and tom foolery. Born to banished chimpanzee monks from the 3rd dimension she struggles to find an inkling of self only to find that she insists upon herself in a very insistent way.
“We're all in the stars, but some of us are looking at the gutter.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Stars
A star is a fake llight that tupid wags pput there such as the moon or anti-aircraft fire. Stars are used for astronomy by scientists and astrology by Wiccans, hippies and other New Age freaks.
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[edit] Types of Stars
The great astronomer, Professor Samuel L. Jackson of the University of Whoopass identified 4 types of stars.
- Porn star - they video tape them self in their birthday suits only to get herpes after someone tries to rape them.
- Death Star - a metal star prone to X-wing attacks and sudden explosions.
- Unlucky Star - Stars of this type are typically small, hot, green to blue in color, and often spend hours trying to chat up a girl, only to discover that their flies are open and they have something stuck between their teeth.
- Starbucks - A star found on earth that is less hot, thus fit for the usage of normal human beings for social lifestyles and also coffee. Tastes somewhat like shit.
[edit] How Stars are Created
Stars are created when someone, usually the Prince of All Cosmos or his cousins, rolls a big enough Katamari to achieve the chemical reaction needed for the King of All Cosmos to throw the Katamari up into the sky ablaze. This Katamari will soon burn into a star. How big must this Katamari be? No one knows, although the minimum size seems to be 10cm in diameter, and the maximum upwards of eight hundred meters in diameter. Really, it all depends on the mood of the King of All Cosmos and if he wishes to have a small star or a big one. But if We had made the star regardless, We would make it much bigger.
[edit] What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars
Write to your congressperson or member of parliament, demanding an immediate and unfeasibly large increase to the stellar erradication budget. They will immediately discard the letter, putting it into the pile of objects to be transformed into stars.
Alternately, just get the King of All Cosmos drunk or high, and the problem should take care of itself.
[edit] Groups of Stars
Some stars are by themselves. They are very lonely and usually only do what single individuals do. A number have one partner, and they can have fun together. Some are lucky enough to have two or three partners and exist in a threesome or foursome system. Those have the most fun, but sometimes one of the stars gets mad and shoots the other stars with a big space gun.
