State Quarter

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about State Quarter.

Come look at my shiny new quarters, little boy

~ Oscar Wilde on State Quarter program

If I totally had a nickel for every time they changed the quarter, I'd have, like, $2.56!

~ Jessica Simpson on State Quarter program


The state quarter program started in 1999 by the U.S. Mint to raise interest in coin collecting, resulting in more children going into those creepy coin collecting stores. There will be a series of 50 quarters, the tail or reverse or the side without a floating head featuring an image depicting each state in the best light possible, generating untold billions in tourist revenue. The quarters would be circulated in the order in which the states bribed the U.S. Treasury. Most quarters feature a likeness of the state, the state motto, and something the state is noted for. The series started with Adam, and will end with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Contents

[edit] 1999

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Delaware "The First State" Caesar Romero Delaware features the image of Caesar Romero, who portrayed the Joker on TV's Batman. The reason? Delawarans just love that Joker!
image Pennsylvania "Can I borrow a Pencil?" Rocky Balboa Famous Philadelphian, and signer of the Declaration Rocky Balboa is depicted
image New Jersey "Armpit of America" Tony Soprano and Bruce Springsteen Image of the Springsteen shaking hands with Soprano
image Georgia "The Peachtree State" "Millions of peaches, peaches for me!" A can of sliced cling peaches in heavy syrup
Connectthedots "Connect the dots!" A connect-the-dots image of the state

[edit] 2000

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Massachusetts "The Kennedy State" "The Yankees ah wicked retahded!" The three famous Kennedy brothers in Redsox attire
image Maryland "We've got Crabs!" A crab
image South Carolina "Let's Secede again, Third time lucky!" Refers to the state's previous attempts to leave the Union
image New Hampshire "The 'We're #1' State" The state depicted as a giant foam finger
image Virginia "Everybody important was born here" Washington, Jeffereson, Monroe, Madison, Henry, Lee, Stonewall Jackson Lists the names of all the notable figures in US History born there

[edit] 2001

Quarter State Text Explanation
image New York "The Asshole State" "The Big Asshole" The outline of the state with an enormous anus in the center
image North Carolina "The Air Jordan State" "'Cause nobody knows what a 'Tarheel' is!" The birthplace of the basketball star, refer's to the state's former nickname.
image Rhode Island "It neither a road nor an island!" image of a crossed-out road and island
image Vermont "Hippies and Cows!" A quart of Ben and Jerry's

[edit] 2002

Quarter State Text Explanation
Tennessee "The Trailer Park State" Image of a Mobile Home
image Ohio "Round on both ends, Hi in the Middle!" Outline of the state next to a rubber chicken
image Lousiana "Katrina and the Waves!" A blank obverse with a few waves and ripples
image Indiana "At the buzzer...SWISH!" A basketball going through the hoop
image Mississippi "The Cross Burning State" A flaming cross

[edit] 2003

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Illinois "Lincoln, Bitches!" Basically, the head of a penny.
Image Alabama "It's a Boy State" Image with emphasis on the Gulf Coast region's peninsulas
image Maine "The Stephen King State" King standing on a pentagram
Image Missouri "Life Along the Mrs. Ippy" Mark Twain Mark Twain punching out Oscar Wilde
Image Arkansas "The Lone Tooth State" A mouth with very bad teeth. Consists of two dimes and a nickel stuck together with gum.

[edit] 2004

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Michigan "America, Flipping You Off!" Hands Superimposed on the Upper and Lower Peninsulas, gesturing obscenely
image Florida "America's Junk" Florida hanging suggestively off of the Continental US
image Texas "Oil and Cowboys" An outline of the state with a Oil derrick gushing oil everywhere
Image Iowa "Too Much Corn" A farmer facing a cornfield, his hand behind him, with Uncle Sam counting out bills into the farmer's hand.
image Wisconsin "Eat Cheese or Die" A cow holding a gun to your head

[edit] 2005

Quarter State Text Explanation
image California "Fruits and Nuts" The outline of the state filled with fruit salad
image Minnesota "Land of, like, a zillion lakes, yah!" An idiot ice fishing
image Oregon "Don't Mess With Mt. Hood" A field of grave markers
Image Kansas "Intelligent Design!" God
image West Virginia "The Inbred State" An ugly, deformed inbred retard on a porch with a banjo

[edit] 2006

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Nevada "Deserts, Atomic Test Sites, and Casinos!" A desert with a mushroom cloud, with the "waving cowboy" sign
image Nebraska "Iowa stole our corn idea!" More Corn
image Colorado "Rocky Mountain High, Colorado!" Depicts John Denver's fiery death in a plane crash.
image North Dakota "No, That's in South Dakota!" Nothing, nothing but windswept steppes
Image South Dakota "Mount Rushmore, Indians, and Bikers!" You guessed it!

[edit] 2007

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Montana "The Buttload of Mountains State!" An buttload of mountains
image Washington "Pot's practically legal here!" Space Needle in front of a Cannabis leaf
image Idaho "Potatoes!" A Potato
Image Wyoming Wyoming? Why indeed! A big question mark
Image Utah "More and More Mormons!" A Mormon family with a husband, 3 wives, and 36 kids.

[edit] 2008

Quarter State Text Explanation
image Oklahoma "Not OK, dammit, in fact, it sucks!" Oil, cows, and Indians.
image New Mexico "More Money and Fewer Mexicans than Old Mexico!" A mexcian, at siesta, in sombrero and serape, with an X through him.
image Arizona It's not just deserts! We have woman chain gangs!" "Chained heat" style hottie
Image Alaska "Oil, polar bears, gold, eskimos, oil, and snow"! You figure it out!
Image Hawaii "Get Lei'd in Hawaii!" A hot hula girl
Image Canada "We've always been a state, just didn't want to admit it, eh?" A Moose
Personal tools
projects