Steak

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Steak erupted into the public eye in 1762 with their harpsichord rendition of the sweet love song "Don't be cruel to animals or I'll slaughter everyone you've ever loved" (later to be covered by The Beatles in their 1874 film Grease and later on by a group cross dressing chimps named the Lionesses). Steak may or may not be related to Chips and are definitely no relation of God (or Bob).

It was discovered in the late decades of the latter part of the 1980s that Steak had re-formed matter into a state equally stable to the ratio of Gravy in any one place (as long as equal to Tuesday, next to Wednesday). Sadly the band folded not long afterward, blaming differences in gravitational pull.

Contents 1 Now? 2 As Meat 3 Other things 4 In video games 5 See also

[edit] Now?

Recent eyewitness supports suggest that Bob Marley, lead singer in Steak, is actually now 86% part of the Moon. Science and Bob (no relation) are now in talks aimed at resolving this controversy.

[edit] As Meat

    Steak is also an important meat, ranked very high on the top of the meat pyramid (its nutritional
 value is highly pertinent to men). If one has a heavy bone from a steak, one
 can beat cows into submission, causing the cow to transform into a much larger steak.
  This phenomena is named atomic exponential steakifaction, where the particles that
 comprise the cow are thus transformed into a larger steak.
  This is how grill & bar restaurants create 72+ oz. steaks. 
    Despite steak's palatability, it has been known to reanimate and attack it's consumer. 
 These altercations can be prevented by dousing the meat in A1 sauce (or Steak-barium Triethylmide),
 which acts as a degenerative acid and in turn asphyxiates the meat so it becomes tender.

    Steak was discovered by a friar named Sir John Wenskelstein, with inspiration from the hit song by Reverend 
Horton Heat "Eat Steak" which was created at the beginning of time, in the late 1500's.
  The friar was performing an exorcism to expurgate a demon out of a severely possessed devil-cow.
  The friar perceived the exorcism as hopeless so he pinned the writhing 
cow to the ground with nearby stakes and cast holy water onto the cow.  With a magnificent
 explosion, baked potatoes, gravy and raw meat flew high into the air.  The friar then brought forth his holy
 Kenmore grill and burned the meat for further purification.
  Once the devil's putrefaction was cooked away, the friar was left with the most delicious of substances, steak. 
 His discoveries were lost for the next 100000741.9735 years unfortunately then Jimi Hendrix used a face melting 
guitar solo while next to a cow which then exploded and perfectly cooked steaks fell from the rainbow that was 
produced from the cow parts that reflected the light from the sun. Baby back ribs, sulfuricoxidizingatomic acid 
and (unfortunately) vegetarians were by products of this explosion.

[edit] Other things

Scientists have theorized that a steak is also a kind of witch-burning device made of cows. However, this theory is contested by creationists, who argue that scientists shouldn't be messing with their witch burning supplies if they know what's good for them.

[edit] In video games

GTA claims to be the first game, where steak plays the major role.

We have seen steakhouses in GTA SA, and also Dan Houser, Rockstar spokesman, said in his interview: "Steak will be different". This line inspired many fans to expect new, eatable steak in the next game in the series.[1]. There are many specualtions, about steak, though. For example, vegetarian gamers want to replace it with carrot while other meat-eaters want to see baked cats instead. Dan Houser has been asked many questions concerning steak presence in GTA: I-) but the only thing he did was smiling. "We are making a surprice - he said when one of the fans threatened to kiss him.

[edit] See also

• Bob Marley and The Whalers

Max loves his T-bone steak he cannot get enough of it if he doesn't have it daily he gets very upset with himself and the world. peace and love to all.