Stéphane Dion
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 The pie incident of 1999 | |
| Rank: | 22nd |
| Predecessor: | Paul Martin |
| Date of Birth: | September 28, 1995 BC |
| Place of Birth: | Paris, France |
| Political Party: | Liberal |
| Official Language: | Dionglish |
“Why the hell did I praise that guy back when I thought he had no chance of actually winning? Damn it, I suck.”
~ Jack Layton on Dion
“I'm loyal to surrendering for France!”
~ Stéphane Dion on his dual citizenship
“Eet ees ard to set priorities!”
~ Stéphane Dion on his leadership ability
Stéphane Dion is the recently-elected not a leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. He was elected on a strong platform of Quebec-bashing and a promise to break all of his promises if elected to office, and under the new law declaring that all party leaders must be named Steve. Dion has vowed to put pressure on the international community to live up to promises on the Kyoto Protocol that Canada itself will not keep, in the hope that this will give Canada the economic edge over its G8 rivals.
Before his election to leadership, he was known largely for writing angry letters to the Bloc Québécois. Despite managing to get hit in the face with pies now and then[1], the "all old French guys are funny" rule never really applied to him because he was considered too boring and geeky. As he is only in his 50s, though, experts assume that this could improve with time.
Dion has dual Canadian-French citizenship. When he was asked why he wouldn't give up his French citizenship, he replied that he's loyal to surrendering for France. Unfortunately, someone pointed out that this meant surrendering the citizenship and Dion plunged into a short-lived but intense coma as he puzzled out this ponderous paradox.
Stéphane is one of 20 older brothers to the annoying Francophone that everyone loves hates, Céline Dion. In his free time, while listening to his sister's music, Stéphane's likes to create federal policy that will never be implemented.
Some Important Facts -In 1988 he paraded around Victoria Square on a trike that he stole from Lucien Bouchard's fucked up dead twin thats stuck to his belly. -Loves REO Speedwagon. -Was almost arrested for beating Jack Layton with a stick after the little bugger attempted to hump his leg during the throne speech. -Was a member of Iron Maiden in the 1980s. -He was once caught by Bernie Gurberg trying to sneak into the new Die Hard movie at Dollar Cinema. Charges were inexplicably dropped.
| 27th Ministry - Government of Paul Martin | ||
| Cabinet Posts (1) | ||
| Preceded by: Smog | Minister of the Environment (2004 to 2006) | Succeeded by: Rona Ambrose |
