Steroids

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Contents 1 What are Steroids? 2 History 3 Effects 4 Symptoms 5 Little Known Facts

[edit] What are Steroids?

WWE's Jeff Hardy's breakfest, lunch, and dinner. According to Bud Selig, steroids are "the oat bran of the 21st century."

The term "steroids" typically refer to anabolic steroids, compounds that are similar to testosterone. Testosterone, in addition to turning the average man into a perverted asshole, also builds lean muscle mass. Although not technically true, some people also refer to the performance enhancing chemical DHMO as a steroid, due to the excessive bloating it causes.

"Steroids" can also refer to a painful condition, in the ass, that develops as a hemmorhoidal growth as a result of frequently traversing staircases. Also known as "stairrhoids" or Barbra Streisand.

Steroids give you more muscle but make you bald, impotent, testicularly challenged, give you the incredible jaw of Jay Leno and acne so bad it melts your face. Enjoy!

[edit] History

Their is a history about Steroids that all you poeple should know, niall smith took 20 doses of highly powerful steroids at the age of just under 2 weeks old and still lives to tell the story, also when he just turned 10, his dad gave him half a tablet and he threw his brother in the wall. (What a wanker)

The ancient Greeks were the first to use external testosterone to build athletic physiques. The Greeks figured out consuming bull testicles did not work: dead bull testes no longer produced active testosterone nor did it contain compatible amounts for that matter. Ancient Greek doctors deducted that testosterone needed to come from a live source and be compatible with the human body.

Thus, men started consuming some of their own junk. There were drawbacks: men had to be very flexible and tolerate a considerable amount of pain, unpleasant flavor and suffer through a bit of self-inflicted horror. Almost a century later, the Greeks officially declared the practice as non-productive: while ingesting your live balls sounded like an outstanding idea, the body's main place for the production of testosterone, quite ironically, was now gone for good. In fact, an ancient Greek medical text written by Anspotras referred to it as "a really bad call".

As far back as the 1930's, Soviet and American physical culture enthusiasts started using newly introduced pharmaceutical testosterone, or anabolic steroids. Not with any coincidence it was about this time where guys turned from laughable 160lb piece of crap losers into ripped 250lb men. Following the late seventies, with the appearance of Arnold Schwarzenegger, steroids enjoyed a huge boom in popularity.

[edit] Effects

take enough steroids and YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!

Anabolic steroids makes muscle mass large. Along with resistance training and eating huge amounts of food (to the point that the nose is used as well as the mouth for putting down an average of 24 meals a day), it is not uncommon to gain hundreds of pounds of highly attractive lean muscle a year.

There are gender specific results as well: for example, a side effect called gynecomastia is where some of the massive amounts of testosterone converts to estrogen and causes steroid-using men to potentially grow a beautiful rack. The condition is often called "bitch tits" within the bodybuilding community. This vulgar slang name's origin is said to have started when Arnold Schwarzenegger, acting as color commentator in a 1981 Mr. Olympia, stated "wow, that big bitch has some really nice tits".

While men often get accelerated balding, women also experience hair-specific effects. Namely, the shit gets really nasty. To this day, scientists are not sure as to why. In a recent Journal of American Science, one exhaustive study cited that while steroid use was definitely the cause, researchers couldn't determine how it happens. One perplexed female researcher duly noted, "We're not sure what is causing these unbelievably bad perms and dyes, but I'd rather get liver cancer any day". However if you look at someone who-you think- takes steroids, dont ask them. They might just be fat.

Anabolic steroids come in both oral and injectable forms. In order to deliver the amount needed to induce an effect, drug companies were forced to produce huge 20 kilogram caplets. On the plus side, these oral preparations can be used as part of a bodybuider's resistance training regimen, then ingested. However, many bodybuilders have cited some problems with swallowing the pills.

Typically, steroids are "stacked", or taken at the same time with other muscle building compounds. It is not uncommon to use several different steroids at the same time, along with other hormones such as growth hormone and insulin. Huge amounts of protein and supplements are also used at this time. In no particular order, the grocery list of a common bodybuilder will include: testosterone, generic drugstore testosterone, testosterone for horses, testosterone for whales, protein powder, protein powder with testosterone, creatine, human growth hormone, fat-guy-sweat, amino acids and a fine chamomile tea.

[edit] Symptoms

Some of the symptoms of Steroids are bulging eyeballs out of their sockets, sideways heads turned 90 degrees to the side and losing your balls. also, you could end up like mark mirko jim carlton crop cop the incredible roid abusing holt. this cannot be good as he curses the heavens alot, and always says "NOOOO" and other such things of not much interest. he is generally a clown of society.

[edit] Little Known Facts

• Steroids are good for you
• Steroids were used in the short lived "Beefies" of the 1920's, whose slogan was as follows: "Eat this shit and be able to kill people". The FDA did NOT approve!
• Barry Bonds was born with steroids in his bloodstream and that is why it's natural.