Stewie Griffin
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Stewie Griffin, contrary to popular belief was not fathered by Peter Griffin, but on June 6,666, was spawned through a one night stand between Lois and Satan Level 3 (at the time he had protection against relic + 5 cast on him by "Da Freakin Pope"). Five years later when he was born, he was immediately enrolled in Future Leaders of the World, a school which was secretly a front for child trafficking. Having escaped upon a child bearing tortoise he inadvertently rode through a cat flap Peter had installed for just such an eventuality.
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[edit] Current day
Today, when Stewie isn't chilling in his penthouse, he is touring the nation with Kurt Cobain and Rob Zombie. In each town he visits, the locals hold a big parade and give him presents.
Because of his big cranium and hatred of broccoli, many people have chosen him as a candidate for President of the World. However, Stewie is currently too gay to pursue this job, and plus he is also too small. People have often mistaken him to be dumb enough to be president, only for them to never be seen again. The reason for this is unknown.
Sometimes, Stewie is seen hanging around with Oscar Wilde, often throwing things at people and telling unfunny jokes to foreign people. They're a hell of a duo, they seem like best friends. But sometimes, Wilde will throw mean insults at Stewie, engulfing him in rage and causing him to soil himself, for which he has to call Lois to change him.
In 2006, Stewie was given the Medal of Whup-Ass by the Congress for finding and defeating Osama bin Laden. He was offered a position in The League of Extraordinary People, but Stewie refused because he did not want to take orders from that pussy Al Gore. A gold statue of Stewie was erected in Afghanistan, causing to Meg Griffin to complain, "They never make a statue of me." Older brother Chris was unavailable for comment.
In 2008, "People" magazine chose Stewie as one of the 50 most handsome cartoon characters in the world.
Stewie Griffin is currently the second dictator of Germany, following Hitler's (whom stewie is sexually attracted to) steps. Stewie is now the supreme ruler of all Europe, North America and Asia.
Stewie has such a mind that this word came to describe him: Domestic, Super minded, Nerf football.
[edit] Stewie’s projects
Stewie Griffin is the tyrannical ruler of Quahog Rhode Island. He runs his evil empire from the local playground. His arch rival is Bertram Griffin, who is constantly trying to invade and occupy his territory.
As far as tyrannical dictators go Stewie is very ambitious. His ultimate aim is to take over and enslave the population of the planet Earth. Other plots carried out by Stewie include:
- Take over the world and kill Lois.
- Trying to destroy all broccolis on the planet using a weather changing device
- Attempting to build a time machine to bypass his teething,
- Attempting to destroy Ireland.
- Killed a “man in white” who attempted to put him back into Lois’s womb
- Attempting to take over Joe’s wheelchair
- Encouraging Lois to stay out of the house by running for school board
- Reading the Bible from cover to cover to increase the knowledge he gained from Sun Tzu’s Art of War
- Caring for the Grim Reaper to allow him to murder his mother
- Helped his father run Petoria after he seceded from the United States
- Attempted to hypnotize the population of the United States while on Kids Say the Funniest Things
- Prevented Lois from conceiving a baby by entering Peter’s testicles in a micro vehicle and destroying his sperm using weapons built into the craft
- Attempts to hypnotize the spectators of the Quahog school cheerleaders
- Drove himself insane by attempting to become a Broadway actor
- Accidentally attached himself to Brian while trying to eat superglue
- Left the United States to meet the Communists that run the BBC
- Marry Paris Hilton and KILL her after Stewies the II and III are born.
- Rape endangered species like pandas or tigers
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