Stimac

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Stimac is the manly man. He was one of the international "students" at ISSYP 2006. He is far superior to Chuck Norris. He even has his own music video, and his own cult following. He has his own branches of physics (Stimac Physics and Super-stimacketry), his own country, his own language, and his own Periodic Table of the Elements. And he has his own planet, Planet Stimac (formerly known as Planet Google, which was formerly known as Mars). In addition to this, participants in ISSYP 2006 were priviledged to fly Air Stimac, which flies along the pavements between Niagara Falls and Waterloo.

“I am the one and only Stimac!! Never trust Chuck Norris!”

~ Stimac

“Stimac is never late! For your insolence I demand a human sacrifice! ”

~ Except from Stimac's first novel

[edit] The Beginning

In the beginning, Stimac was a kind, humble Croatian, who had a mild interest in Theoretical Physics. His experience at ISSYP, however, would change him for life. As soon as he stepped off the plane onto Canadian soil, he was stormed by reporters, TV cameramen, airport staff, tourists, and Chuck Norris. He simply said "I'm busy," and everyone left quietly. Before he left, though, Chuck Norris begged Stimac for forgiveness (see section on Duel with Chuck Norris).

[edit] At ISSYP

At ISSYP, Stimac was officially recognized as being a manly man. The "Theoretical Physicists" there immediately stopped whatever they were doing, forgot everything they knew (yes, even General Relativity) and created a new proof of everything, known as Stimac Physics. This is one of the many reasons Stimac now has a cult-like following of fans. These fans happen to be the same fans that began the process of changing Chuck Norris jokes to Stimac jokes. Many scientists believe that Stimac is older then time itself, and that he was often mistaken for people like Hercules in antient history, other say he just kept changing his names to hide his true identity. Finally, the 17th year A.S. (After Stimac-cca. 2006) he showed his true identity on ISSYP, and formed a group of fanatic followers. May Stimac be with you all!

[edit] Duel with Chuck Norris

After Chuck Norris realized that people were replacing his name in his jokes with Stimac, he hunted Stimac down and challenged him to a duel. Stimac accepted. Chuck Norris attempted a roundhouse kick and MISSED. Stimac tapped Norris on the forehead and Norris gave up instantly. No video footage of this was available as every electronic device in a 64km radius was shattered afterwards. Luckily, the duel took place in the middle of Australia, so not much damage was actually done. It is unknown why Chuck Norris actually begged for forgiveness before the duel took place (see section on The Beginning), but this may have something to do with the mysterious properties of Stimac Physics.

[edit] Imposters

There are several imposters who hope to achieve the same lordly recognition as Stimac. These include, but are not limited to: The entire Stimac family, besides the real Stimac, who simply changed their names to be like Stimac, the Stimac machinery company that deals with France and Holland, Jarrad Larmand, a little-known weightlifter whose charm is inferior to his piano-playing ability and Christopher Wainright, the only man to befriend the wild Stimac.