Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts

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Stormtroopers on patrol against Red Shirts.

A Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts Device is the backup never-ending source of energy that powers the Uncyclopedia when the Cat-Toast Device is not working. This rarely happens, however;the only reason why the energy-giving cat apparatus shuts down is when someone does not realized the importance of this cat, and huffs it in need of a fix. Scientists are constantly striving to figure out how to prevent this, however, in the mean time the Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts device serves as back-up.

1 How it Works
2 Historical Instances
3 Other Power Sources for Uncyclopedia
4 External Links

[edit] How it Works

The device is composed of 3 basic components:

Stormtroopers - Those white-armored guys in Star Wars who have no aim and always die.
Red Shirts - Those red-shirted guys in Star Trek who have no name and always die, especially when away on missions.
Cage - This serves to hold the captives and thus reduces chances of them not running into each other.

They soon begin to fight at point-blank range, and on the basis that neither army without a meaningful input by an external force can win over the other, the fighting continues to this day. One Red Shirt, Lieutenant Leslie, claims to have been wounded, although some scientists dispute the validity of this claim.

The loop works as this:

The Storm Troopers see the red shirts and fire, but due to their inherent sight disorder, they can't hit the far side of a barn.
The Red Shirts, upon being fired, immediately soak up the hot plasma death and thus die.
Because the Stormtroopers are unable to actually kill something, this creates a form of paranormal quantum loop, in which the red shirts must, yet can't, die. Ohh, the paradox.
This creates energy which is harnessed by a crack team of Germans who, through an unseen process, use it to power Mechahitler, preparing the Iron Fuhrer for his next reign.
excess energy is diverted to help power uncyclopedia

Oscar Wilde, always one to recognize the violation of laws of thermodynamics, found a way to harness the limitless kinetic energy of the battle to power his Uncyclopedia.

Some Scientists have insisted that this device is not possible: Stormtroopers can hit their target if the plot requires it (see Return of the Jedi), and the plot of every Star Trek episode requires Red Shirts to die. Therefore, the machine would stop working in mere seconds. However, this has not stopped any progress so nobody cares.

[edit] Historical Instances

In 1945, a Japanese scientist, called Einstein, figured out the method for creating a super-duper-fandabidozi Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts Device. He used the equation E=MC² to figure it out. In this equation;

E=deus ex machina
M=massive audience
C=length of time left of crossover film/Christmas special/cash in

Thus, it is more likely for the Stormtroopers to actually get their rare hit if the show people are watching is popular and if the film producers really couldn't be arsed. Then, one day, Einstein wanted something to help him boil his kettle. So, he persudaded the most famous directors of his time, Orson Wells, Walt Disney and Leni Riefenstahl to make a Star Wars v Star Trek v Godzilla movie. This made the stormtroopers more accurate than he expected so it caused a bit of an accident.

In 1961 A.D.(After Daleks), Oscar Wilde, in trying to invent sensible jeans that don't go out of style, accidentally beamed an army of Red Shirts into a steel cage with an army of Stormtroopers. "My Bad," he said.

[edit] Other Power Sources for Uncyclopedia

All rumors about the Uncyclopedia being powered by a Cat-Toast Device or a Wind farm are totally baseless. This, of course, makes them absolutely true. There are new theories emerging which claim that Uncyclopedia might be powered by Whale Blowhole Power Plants, although the chances of this are low, seeing as whales need water, and water costs money, which Uncyclopedia drinks and uses for teeth brushing, and whales only have teeth on the upper jaw, or lower jaw, we can't decide which. While it is true that most people use water for their drinking and teeth brushing, scientists doubt the people of Uncyclopedia are "normal", and therefore probably reserve the right not to accept the existence of this so called, "water".